What to do bout custody?

Stacey - posted on 04/16/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have been separated from my husband for almost 2 years. We live in the same neighborhood ( I left the home and stayed for the kids due to school and friends). We were both in agreement we decided 4 days with me 4 days with him, I know....stupid,right? My kids are 11 and 7. After a year and a half my oldest son has started lashing out bout not wanting to go to his dads and that I don't want him around that's why I push him to his dads. It breaks my heart and usually I don't send him there until he feels better, a couple days later. We don't have a court order and right now I don't have the money to file, it's over 400.00 with classes in Pennsylvania. So my question is do I have to send them down every time it's his turn to get em? What repercussions are there if I don't? He texts me and threatens me if I don't and I don't want him to take it out on the kids if I tell him they r the ones that didn't want to go, so I usually make something up that involves my mistake. He is not abusive towards them. There feelings just get hurt easily and they don't get treated that way with me, so they r not used to it. He has a criminal background and recently thanks to him I do also. So filing also scares me for that reason. He only wants 50/50 so he pays less child support. He usually isn't home with them when he does have them. And also we are still married in Pennsylvania.

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Stacey - posted on 04/16/2014

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I plan to get a formal agreement but that will take several months to get finalized, but I do agree with you. I have tried numerous times to try and talk to him but he refuses. Thanks for your response.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/16/2014

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Without a formal separation agreement (which involves attorneys at the very least), and court ordered schedules, he can refuse to let the kids come back to you after 'his' time.

Its good that you could be in agreement, and make co parenting decisions without arguing, but perhaps it's time, regardless of the cost, to actually go the legal route so that you, he, and the kids will all have legal protection and guidelines.

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