what to do if my 6 year old daughter doesn't like her father

Jennifer - posted on 12/23/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 6 years old, and my husband, who is also her father, antogonizes her to annoy her, tickles her, pokes at her, teases her, she gets mad and starts to whine, he almost finds a reason to make her cry, then gets mad when she gets whiny. The kids always choose to be around and by me, he most of the time choosing to be a physical presence, and doesn't play with her often. What am I going to do? Is this father daughter relationship doomed to fail? Is it going to affect relationships she will have in the future?

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Ariana - posted on 12/27/2012

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First I would get some family councelling. It might sound a bit drastic but if he's having a bad relationship with her now it's only going to get worse as she gets older. He obviously does not know how to interact with her and his attempts to be 'playful' are to aggressive for her. A councellor may be able to help him see this in a way that you probably can't convince him to. Plus they will know ways to facilitate a better bond.

I would also say to try to talk to him about it and have him do things with her that aren't like that. So maybe paint pictures together, or go to the park, or any activity you can think of. Maybe even a once a week program she (or all your kids) can go to with him specifically to try to create better moments together. Possibly karate classes, since that's for all ages/athletic abilities etc. Even if they have to go into a specific class (they usually have classes for 4-7 year olds and 8+ or something like that) he can ask to go into her class, most instructors don't care if an adult takes a younger kid class, especially if he explains that he wants to do it so he can spend some time with his kids.

He definitely needs to work on getting a nicer relationship with her, and to not poke at her. If you see him doing that you should get in between them and tell him she said no so he should stop. Even if you just joke, hey play nice and get in between them. Stop the negative interaction before it gets to far.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/23/2012

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Post a reply!He clearly does not know how to relate to her. I had people in my life treat me llike this and I HATED it. Just talk with him. Maybe give him some ideas of activities to do with her. He needs to find a way to connect with her.

Michelle - posted on 12/23/2012

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You need to sit him down and explain to him that he needs to stop that what he is doing is not conducive to a strong relationship between him and his kids. Also sit her down and explain to her that if she ignores him eventually he will stop when she no longer reacts cause it won't be fun anymore.

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