What To Do? Need Advice

Jay - posted on 01/09/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I don't know if this conversation will be the moment to be writing it here, but need advice or some kind of motivation. I met my ex husband but still together after divorced since 2007 got married then divorced 2011. I'm four years older than him and I was an open book with him since day one. I really think I messed up when letting him know that receive survivor benefits. Because for all these years I've paid rent, bills, etc.... My relationship isn't a 50/50 relationship and he's worked and doesn't make much and he comes from a wealthy mom and father sadly his father passed away last year. My partner has multiple vehicles under his name and money but under moms name... I just feel I've let myself be taken advantage and used but dummy me. This isn't what I want, I pay everything and don't even have car..... I myself have four children three there bio father was murdered in 2005, and my smallest I waived rights from her biological father. My partner has known my children since they were small. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm not dependent on my partner because if I ask him I need help with this bill or can you pay half off rent. He's unable to, my life isn't perfect and don't want a fairy tale I just want it to be equal I have foot put my foot down with him and explained what has always been what a relationship really is and how its supposed to be equal but it only goes one ear out the other. I don't see change and I even thought of speaking to an attorney

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Raye - posted on 01/09/2015

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Also, we are not lawyers, and nothing we say should be taken as legal advise. We are only offering suggestions that we believe may be helpful.

Raye - posted on 01/09/2015

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All your eviction letter has to say is:
This letter is to notify you that I, (your name), can no longer allow you, (his name), to reside at my residence, (address). Your failure to vacate the property within 30 days will lead me to file a criminal complaint against you for trespassing.


If you think you will have to change the locks, get your landlord's permission, or have them do it for you.

If he ever becomes abusive, then call the police immediately.

Raye - posted on 01/09/2015

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You said you pay rent, so I assume that you actually rent your home and are not paying a mortgage. Whose name is on the lease?

If it's in your name only, give him written notice to leave the property within 30 days or you will take him to court. Keep a copy of the notice for proof that you wrote it, and try to have a witness to you giving it to him. If he still doesn't leave, call the police and tell them you and the children don't feel safe with him there - let them know the home is in your name and you gave him notice to leave which has expired. They should remove him from the home. Then have the locks changed. Allow someone else to pick up his belongings or leave them in a secure location outside your home.

If you're both on the lease, you probably have to wait until the lease expires. You can move out, but you will still be responsible for the rental payments until the lease is over. Let the landlord know that you and he are no longer in a relationship and that he poses a threat to you and your children's well-being. Ask if they can change the lease to your name only (since you've been paying it all anyway) and help you evict him, or (if in an apartment complex) would they move you to a different unit with only your name on the lease and make him sign a new lease for the other unit or make him move out. They don't have to do either of those things, and probably won't, because an eviction can be costly. But it can't hurt to ask.

If the lease is in his name, YOU have to move.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/09/2015

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If you are divorced, and you are paying for the home, serve him with an eviction notice, and have the authorities remove him.

If you've had children with him, go to court and get custody and support established. If not, then have him evicted and move on.

Raye - posted on 01/09/2015

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If you're not happy with this person, and he's not an equal partner to you whether you're married, divorced, together, or whatever, when it seems you'd be better off without him. I think you know that, though. It may be hard on the kids if he's been the father figure to them. But it is even harder on them to have the yo-yo back and forth of being together and not being together. Move on with your life.

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Ashley - posted on 01/11/2015

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Judy my heart breaks for you and your family and I'm praying for you all right now. I know there must be so many things going thru everyone's mind and a lot to take in. I would immediately contact an attorney and start there possibly even get a free one. Request all medical records and anything pertaining to her from the hospital from the day she was born. Request an autopsy as well as hard as that may be. The situation doesn't seem right at all and I'm sorry ya'll are in such immense pain from losing this sweet baby. God be with all you.

User - posted on 01/11/2015

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I have my nephew his daughter is 1month 22days her pedia dr gave her a shot of this 6 and 1 vaccine after a while at home she never stop crying and suffer vomiting her mom fed her milk it was middle of the nyt she slept my nephew came found the baby with a pale color he took her and bring to the hospital there they said she was dead on arrival this happen only the other day and our angel still on a funeral

Jay - posted on 01/09/2015

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Thank you and was just looking for support and nothing legal advice, I know some moms probably understand where I'm coming from and everyone has opinions that might help me. I really appreciate the comments I've received so far.

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