Renee - posted on 03/01/2015 ( 27 moms have responded )
It's all about winning control, and they want it. So GIVE IT TO THEM! If you follow these steps exactly, magic will happen.
First lets get your mind in the right place...Who's house is it? Yours (no brainer),
Who's room is it? YOURS. (the room falls in the confines of the house) sooo..
Step #1 - YOU clean your child's room perfectly. No food under the bed, all glasses and trash gone!! Everything in its place, smelling great, all close hung up. drawers neat and shoes put away. Bed made, blinds open to let the light in. Read the comments below for rest of the instructions...
Step #2 - Put a key lock on your child's door.
Step #3 - (this is a BIG ONE, BUT STAY WITH ME!!) Apologize to your child for putting so much pressure on them to keep their room clean!!( you need to say this sincerely and in a loving understanding tone. (Now here is where is gets really good). Tell them you understand that going to school and hanging with friends and after school activities are very stressful and you certainly DIDN'T MEAN TO PUT THE STRESS of having to clean up a room and make the bed and put clothes away. So they no longer have to worry about this. Give them a sleeping bag and a pillow and let them set it up IN THE HALLWAY.(not the sofa or anyone else's room) And say " you no longer have to worry about dealing with you're room, that You, their parent will handle it for them UNTIL THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE READY AND TRULY WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF HANDLING A FULL BEDROOM!!" Tell them that you will UNLOCK the door for 5 mins in the morning so they can choose the clothes they want for that day. All they have to do is fold up their sleeping bag in the morning and put their dirty close in the hamper or laundry basket. No matter how they beg, hold out for at least 3-5 days. Once you do let them back in, let them know if it gets too much they can always have the sleeping bag back. THE BALL IS IN THEIR COURT, THEY HAVE ALL THE CONTROL OVER HANDLING THEIR ROOM OR NOT. They deserve a nice room but it is a PRIVILEGE not a gimme. it works every time ;)