What to do when you're dating a divorced dad and he wants you to meet their kids?

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Blanka - posted on 01/17/2012

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Thanx Kel that's very helpful, he's gonna talk to his ex wife about this because now that he has a relationship it's no longer good to him (and me of course) that they hang out together and that she has to let him go and close that chapter, because like he said he already closed it.... Sooo I think that I'm gonna wait to see how that goes and hope for the best, thanx again!

And stay tuned.... LOL

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Blanka - posted on 01/17/2012

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Same here Bri, my daugther's dad is an inmature prick and he doesn't know that someday Frida (my baby) it's gonna prefer spend time with my boyfriend than him, it's pretty sad but I think that everybody gets what they deserve...

Bri - posted on 01/17/2012

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I wish you well. My dh met my little girl at the age of 2 1/2, shes now nearly 6yrs old and she has been there for her much more than her dead beat bio dad.

Maree - posted on 01/17/2012

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The ex sounds like a jealous bitch who can't let go and doesn't want her ex to move on...I don't know how you deal with that going on...i would not put up with my partner having little play dates with his ex and children. I am all about whats best for the kids however i fail to see how hanging out as a family,preventing each other from moving on and confusing the kids,could possibly be good for anyone.



Not much you can do i guess,hopefully when you and he are serious enough,he will cut the cord with his ex. I think there will be a massive shit storm if and when that happens and i feel sorry for you.



I had some of the same issues as you. My husband didn't hang around with his ex but she WOULD NOT let him move on and stopped access to his son because she was pissed off that he stopped doing everything SHE wanted him to do and he stopped giving her extra money all the time. She hated the fact that she thought that i was the cause of him changing...i guess it partly was me,but it was my belief that if we were going to be together then we do things that WE want to do,not what SHE wants us to do....he had the same feelings but because he had being going along with what she wanted for several years before he met me,it was a huge shock for the ex when suddenly he was seeming to be more concerned with me than with her and their son. It wasn't the case,he was VERY concerned with his son but he wanted to make his own decisions and not be dictated to all the time...especially if he wanted there to be a chance for us to be a family one day. I mean,seriously...what woman wants to spend her life with a guy who is always doing what his ex wants and bowing down to her every desire??? Certainly not me,ain't gonna happen lol.



Good luck,i hope it all works out for you.

Blanka - posted on 01/17/2012

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We're pretty serious about this relationship, but the thing is that his ex wife doesn't let him hang out with their youngest kid (3 years old) but when he's out with him the exwife has to come with them and I think that they're sending the wrong message to their kid, because they still hang out together as a family even if their not together anymore, and I'm not gonna be able to meet his kid because of this, and it's kind of hard to me because I don't know when we're gonna hang out with our kids together so they can meet each other

Maree - posted on 01/17/2012

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I met my now husband's son very early into the relationship and he met my son early as well. Nothing was said to the boys about us being "together" though,they assumed we were just friends and the relationship was not serious anyway so it was easy just to go out and have fun with the kids with no pressure.



It was good for them because they got to know us as people before we became their step parents. there was never really an issue as far as the kids go anyway because my son was 8 at the time and never lived with his dad and his son was 7,they had broken up when his son was 2 so he had no memory of living with both parents. I think this usually makes things easier as the kids are not mourning the loss of a parent through divorce and at least for our boys,their was no jealousy or anything...they were both very happy and accepting of us.



If you really like this guy,i would say go ahead and meet his kids,just keep it casual and be their friend.Be sensitive to the fact they might not accept you right away as they may be upset about their parents break up.

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2012

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Review in your heart if you are ready to be a figure in his children's lives. He obviously feels strongly enough about you that he think it'll be long term. Do you feel the same way?

Jane - posted on 01/16/2012

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It means he is fairly serious about you, so you need to decide if you are as serious about him. If you are, then go meet his kids.

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