What to do? Who should be called Dad?

RACHEL - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 5, and calls my brother dad. I have never told my son whom to call Dad, and he decided to call my brother Dad since he's always there for him everyday of his life. Of course my sons sees othere children have Dads, so my son automatically chose my brother.
His biological father has never really been in the picture. But now that he is visiting our son every week for 4 hours (whoop dee doo) consecutively for over a year, he thinks he should be called Dad. Yesterday my sons father told my son, not to call my brother Dad, that he needed to call him Dad. To me its not who makes him, its who raises him, and is there for him. My sons father still doesn't support my son financially. And when is he's around he's not putting 100% of his attention on him. What should I do?

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/12/2012

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I had the same issue with my older daughter trying to call my brother dad because he was around a lot (she was 3 at the time) I did explain to her that he was her Uncle John, not daddy. She's 7 now and occasionally calls my husband daddy instead of Lee. Her father lives in GA (we live in BC) and doesn't call or try to visit her. She refers to him as her father or by his first name.

Personally (and this is also what my husband says) I believe that a dad is a man who is there for your child, teaches them how to do things and spends time with them and cares for them. A father is only the male who helped create the child. That's just what your son's father is at the moment.

I believe that your son is old enough to decide if she wants to call his father dad or even by his first name. As long as your son does know that your brother is really his uncle not his father it's fine to call him dad.

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Dove - posted on 06/12/2012

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As long as your son knows that your brother IS his uncle... let him be. Dad is a title to be earned, not just freely given out. Perhaps your ex and your son can come up with a name that is special for just your ex that has 'dad' included somehow?

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