what to do with a daughter who is falling in love with her step father

Melissa - posted on 12/22/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been with my husband for 12 years now and he has been my daughter's step father since she was 2 years old and they have had a very special bond but as she grew up that bond has gotten him in trouble about two years ago. First off let me state that before he came into her life, she was sexually abused in a daycare by her teacher. So, fast forward to age 13 when one day she didn't come home from school and I was starting to worry. Then, I called my husband to go check her school. He did but nothing. Then, out of no where the police came to my door and said that my daughter was fine and started asking questions about my husband. That is when they told me that my daughter told them my husband was sexually abusing her. I vomitted because my husband knew the one thing that would hurt me he would never do. I know how my child is and every since she was abused she has had problems. She has always hung on guys and would act inappropriate with them. Then, when we went to court, she told them she lied about everything. She was mad at her step father for not doing something she asked him for. So the case was dismissed. Then recently I have been noticing the both of them acting sneaky whenever I would walk into a room. They would act like they weren't doing nothing. Then, last night I pretended to go to sleep and they were siting on the coach together and I was peeking only to see she was nibling his fingers and his arm. I want to say something to both of them but what do you say. Please help, I feel lost and feel like my world is about to come to an end. We also have two younger children together but he favors her over them.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/22/2014

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First of all, why do you believe that she lied the first time?

Highly doubtful.

Your husband has been grooming her, knew about her background, and knew that she'd be susceptible. YOU need to put a stop NOW to this behaviour. Remove him from the house, have your daughter examined, and get her into counseling. She's being sexually abused, and has been groomed to the point that she thinks it's acceptable.

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Carrieg69 - posted on 12/10/2015

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He knows better. Get your child and you out of that situation. I truly believe God wouldn't approve based on Christian principles.

Carrieg69 - posted on 12/10/2015

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I thought I was a alone Mom. Thank you for sharing. Devastating isn't it! I do hope I posted in the right spot. I shall read the rules now.

Carrieg69 - posted on 12/10/2015

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That was good advice. My soon to be ex husband was grooming his step child too.

Kiki - posted on 12/22/2014

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Melissa, you are right to be concerned. I would get both your daughter and you and your husband to counseling so that there can be some documented proof that actions were taken. Also, a therapist or counselor will take certain actions if there is reason for concern. Best of luck, I am so sorry.

Also, most states have a requirement that if you even suspect abuse you must report it or it's a felony.

Michelle - posted on 12/22/2014

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Firstly, you need to talk to your husband and let him know that he can't be alone with her. He has to make sure he isn't in a position where he can be accused of abuse.
Secondly, you need to have a talk with your daughter about appropriate relationships. Is she in therapy? If not get her back now. Yes teenage girls have crushes on older men but not a Father figure.

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