What to do with husbands, ex step-daughter living with us?

Lj - posted on 05/07/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband has a step-daughter from previous marriage, so she has a mom and a dad, and my husband is her ex step-dad. She is now 19. Three months before our wedding he asked if she could stay with us til she graduated high school. That was 2012, at first she was nice and polite, then she turned 18, started getting along with her mom and then disrespecting me. She put a strain on my marriage but i coped because i thought she was moving or going to college. She just finally went jan 2014. Things were rough with my husband last winter but have been great since she left. Well its summer, she wants to come live here.
She does not want to stay with her mom, because her mom is mean ---- she makes her do chores, and has curfew.
My husband lets her get away with anything and he spoils everyone with gifts. He is a very caring and giving man.
I admired that he wanted to stay in her life, when I found out about her, (we had already eloped, when we did he told me he had a son on the weekends)
But she is an adult now, she has parents to stay with, i told my husband i dont want her to live here, Am i wrong to ask that?

3 Comments

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Cenelly - posted on 08/21/2015

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I am so sorry this is happening to you, I completely understand you because I am going through something similar; first of all she is not his daughter and you and your husband are not obligated to have her in your home and shame on your husband for imposing this on you. My husband has a step daughter that I did know about and have treated her like one of the kids till very recently. She steals from our house all the time and her mother expects my husband to do all the running around for this child. My husband lost his job and we are a bit tight budget and he took from our savings to pay for all her uniforms while her mother didn't have to pay for anything. I can't stress enough that this is not his daughter and I don't even take from our savings to buy my kids things. It enraged me so bad that I have had to resort to counseling. I've only been to counseling one time so there hasn't been any changes in my feelings. I have a lot of resentment towards this issue. Good luck with yours.

Valentina - posted on 12/18/2014

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I don't think you are wrong for telling your husband you don't want her to live with you. I agree, moms are generally stricter with daughters and that is the reason she is prefers to stay with her dad. I am in a similar situation. I've been married/lived with my husband for 2 years. Right before I moved in, she moved in too. And I didn't know about it. She is 26, generally nice and helps With my baby son sometimes. But that's pretty much it. She doesn't have a stable job, goes out a lot, talks on the phone most of the day and doesn't help around household much. she has been talking about different job opportunities she has for awhile, but I feel it is just a talk. I don't have anything against her personally. But she is an adult and should be living independently. Frankly I dream of the day she moves out so my baby son can have her room.

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