What to do with Sheltered 17yo teen?

Lissa - posted on 04/23/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a mother of one child, who will be 18 in two months. Now, due to her religious upbringing she has been very sheltered. Over the course of her life, she has struggled with extreme social anxiety. Now, she is just about to go off to university(all the away across the world) and I am worried that my husband and I have not prepared her.

Just recently, she has began to open up and make new friends. She has one friend, who is more outgoing and encourages my daughter to open up. I have allowed her to sleepover at her house several times but my husband is against the idea. Even her grandmother, had a nervous breakdown the first time she slept over. I think she is just used to always going out together, which is something we have done in the past. While, I am learning to let go, my husband and my mother-in-law are questioning my parenting skills. Of course, I don’t want anything to happen to my daughter but I have a personal relationship with her. While she is quiet, she is very opinionated. To be honest, I think if someone were to present her with drugs, she’d probably give them an entire lecture about how bad they are. I simply want her to be her own individual. It saddens me as a mother to see how anxious she is, simply ordering her own food!

What should I do? Should I continue to set boundaries or give her more freedom?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/23/2015




If you want your child to succeed in being an independent adult, you cannot control every single aspect of her entire life and then cut her loose at 18 and expect a miracle.

you need to let her grow. You need to let her mature, and make her own choices. Otherwise, you've set her up to be dependent upon you for the rest of her life. I'd recommend to her that once she get to University, she get herself into counseling so that she doesn't let the anxiety that will result overcome her entire life.

I know that you only wanted to do the best by her, but you need to help her move forward as an individual. I think you're trying to do that, but your last line "Should I continue or give her more freedom" indicates that you are not comfortable with allowing her to mature on her own.

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