What to explain when you get caught having sex by your teens?

Alma - posted on 11/07/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I were fooling around in the kitchen a week ago and my 14 year old daughter caught us and became furious. She has been locking herself in her room and is avoiding her dad at all costs and when she has to respond, she responds cold. When I act dumb and ask why she is mad, she turns cold against me and starts to rebel Has your teens ever done this? This is not the first time this has occurred.

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Dove - posted on 11/07/2015

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Stop fooling around in open areas of the house when she is home for starters. Keep it behind a locked door.

Stop acting dumb and talk to her openly and honestly. Apologize for being out in the open, but also explain that it is a natural act because the two of you are adults and married. Let her know that you would like to help her through her feelings, but you can't do that if she won't talk about it. She can be as upset as she wants, but it is no excuse for rude behavior either.

How much of a sex ed have you given her? Hopefully a full and comprehensive one by now... if not... now is the time.

I don't have any personal experience w/ this though as I've been a single mom since my older kids were 6 (almost 14 now).

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/07/2015

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Oh for...First of all, quit screwing around in the kitchen! Not that it's a bad place, but well...your kids can walk in. Heck, they can walk in anywhere in the house, but at least your bedroom may be more private.

As for the rest? Quit acting dumb. You know what has upset her, and you need to address it. Maturely, as an adult. By not doing so, you're validating her feelings of upset. Good grief. Parents don't become stone when they have kids, and kids need to understand that. I get the feeling that sex is somewhat a taboo subject in your home, otherwise your daughter wouldn't be reacting this way. If you'd taken the time to explain relationships, love, etc, at least she wouldn't have been totally blown away. However, lets face it: Finding your parents bumping uglies in the kitchen is NOT the image most kids want to see.

Apologize to your daughter for disrespecting the public areas in the home, and for disturbing her. Explain that you and her dad are normal, healthy adults who enjoy a sexual relationship, otherwise how would she even be here, and that it is NOT a huge deal, and you did not realize that she would be coming in at that time. Assure her that she won't catch you in the act in the public areas of the home again, and make sure you stick by it.

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