What to give your daughter and son-in-law for a wedding gift when you don't approve of him?

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

My daughter,26 and her boyfriend,30 met; within 3 mos they moved in together, were engaged in about 10 mos, had a (beautiful) baby boy 8 mos later and now marrying in 2 wks. I just do not like him for so many annoying reasons. He is bringing in 70k in school debt to top it off. My husband and I don't feel this will last with all the negative things she has too say all the time. How do we be supportive and excited when we aren't? They are moving way too fast and he is less mature than she is.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/16/2014

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How about asking God for the wisdom to not interfere in your kids' relationships, and asking Him to clear your heart to accept your daughter's choices, as well as help in removing the beam from your own eye?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/15/2014

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Let's see...way too fast...they've been almost 2 years in the relationship! LMAO

Love the parents who can't see past "their" approved choices for their kids' lives!

So, my advice to you is: If you don't like the guy, and don't approve of the relationship, GIVE THEM YOUR SILENCE. GIVE THEM YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THE FACT THAT THEY ARE ADULTS AND DON'T NEED YOUR 'PERMISSION'.

You never know...50 years from now, you could be eating crow. I met my hubby in 1989, September. We were dating w/in 6 months, and married 6 months after that. No pregnancy, either. God brought us together 25 years ago, and we just celebrated our 24th anniversary. My mother didn't approve then, and doesn't really approve now, but she has no say, and can't change a damn thing about my love for my husband. If anything, her disapproval only made us vow even more to make it work, if only to say "I told you so" to my mother.

In other words, if you cannot support them, bow out gracefully.

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2014

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Exactly what the other ladies said. Give her what you would as if she were marrying someone you liked.
It's her life and she can live it the way she wants. If you have already told her that you don't think he's good enough for her then she may be going through with it all just because you don't like him.
I married my husband 10 months after meeting him and we were 15 weeks pregnant when we got married. He is my soul mate and there's no way either of us are going anywhere.

Ev - posted on 09/14/2014

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It is her life and she has to be the one to deal with how things turn out. You are not going to like every person that you children befriend, fall in love with, and so on. Just grin and bear it. I hate to say this but I agree that if you push too much you will loose her.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2014

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Fake it. Get her whatever you would get her if you LIKED him... and just deal w/ it. It's her life and unless you want to risk losing her and your grandson out of your lives... you need to just put your feelings aside and be there for them.

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Leela - posted on 09/16/2014

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Wow Shawn Lively what a beautiful and insightful comment. Can't add anything after that.

Fannie - posted on 09/16/2014

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I think the best thing is to ask Got to change the boyfriend's heart and ask God to give him wisdom.

Gena - posted on 09/15/2014

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I would also give them something you would give if you would have approved of him. The main thing is that your daughter is happy,that she is being treated well by him and he respects her.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2014

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3 months + 10 months + 8 months... is close to two years. Not sure how that's 'too fast'... I know people who went from meeting to marrying in 4 months and are about to celebrate their 14th wedding anniversary....

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