What to say if your child says "I don't love you!"

Parris - posted on 11/13/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My grand child is turning three this month! Today my daighter texts us and says, " her baby said she doesn't love her!" When she said it again this morning my daughter asked Her why?y granddaughter says, "I just love grandmama and Grandfathet!"
My daughter just had her second baby and we have been helping take care of her oldest (3) when she needed or when her oldest wanted to stay with us.
What would you say? I plan to talk to her and tell her that we understand that she misses us and to remember she has plenty of room inside to love. I also want her to know that saying that to her mommy can hurt her feelings because she is her mom and she loves her! I'll tell her that it would make her feel bad if I said I didn't love her anymore just someone else. This is a very bright three year old and we know it's because she is waiting all week for us to bring her over our house but they do have to learn how to use their words and express how they feel when they are upset or hurt.

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Barbara - posted on 11/13/2014

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I have had this experience and found a simple response of
" I'll always love you"
A three year old's understanding of love is probably akin to like and with a new baby in the home it is not surprising that she may be feeling misplaced.
I would make an effort to have someone help with new baby so 3 year old and Mom can have their own time to do something fun.

Jodi - posted on 11/13/2014

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Your daughter needs to stop taking it personally. She is probably just saying it at times she is upset with her mother, especially given it sounds like there is a new baby in the house. It's an attention seeking behaviour, and of course, she is getting the attention for it. Mum needs to not allow it to upset her, not allow her daughter to see that it hurts her, and very calmly say "I'm sorry to hear that, but I love you very much".

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