Nikita - posted on 03/22/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
Hi there. My name is Nikki and I'm a 23 year old single mom with a 7 month old baby. I live with my grandparents and mother which is good in a way since I started attending school again. But there are problems. It seems ever since I've been pregnant and had my son, my mom and my grandmother would make snide remarks to me. And lately they have become more recent. Don't get me wrong they absolutely adore my son and love him to death but certain comments really get to me sometimes. For example, with my mother if I say I'm tired she thinks I don't have a right to say that nor be tired yet she does because she works and does all this stuff. Now I'm not comparing my load to hers but with going to school AND taking care of my child, wouldn't I have a right to be tired?
With my grandmother, it's more frequent. Like today, we were talking about my 13 yr old cousin and how she acts and I commented saying she's 13 she's still immature and my grandmother commented saying well I know a 23 year old who's still immature(talking about me). Another thing she constantly does is feed my son things I tell her not to do and constantly undermines me as a mother. If I say oh it's better to feed him in a chair so he can get used to it rather than hold him she'll get an attitude and say something like, Oh I don't know anything even though I had 4 kids. And just constantly bringing that up and I have to constantly tell her times have changed since then.
Lately though they have been getting on my case to the point of me taking time out for myself is becoming a problem too. At this point I feel like no matter what I do and say it's not good enough and they don't respect me as a mother, especially my grandmother. I am saving up to get an apartment and move out but things just really get to me and I feel like I don't have any positive support. I don't hear 'Oh you're doing a good job as a mother. I don't hear anything like that. All I hear is just snide and snarky comments. Thankfully I have a best friend and her family who has their door open to me and my son whenever I need to get away but I can only do that so much. So if you were in my position what would you do? I honestly need all the help and advice I can get. I don't know what to do. No matter what I say it doesn't matter to them....what can I do?