Mary - posted on 01/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hi there, I have a question for you. About ten years ago my BIL cheated on his then fiancée. He involved me and my family in these adventures. Several times my husband and I either picked up or took home several girls. I had a very hard time with this and asked many times not to be involved. It got to the point, after voicing my disgust with him, I spoke to my MIL about this. She just blew me off. I went to a couple of priest and discussed with them what to do. After a few weeks of pondering this and talking with my husband, I went to the preacher who was counseling the couple, thinking that would be a good place for them to address this issue. Well, as you imagine that did not go over very well. My BIL denied everything, my MIlL told the fiancée that I was lying and my husband agreed with them that I was just being vindictive and mean spirited. Fast forward 8 years. I do not talk to my SIL, we do not attend family functions together, we stay away from each other at all costs. My husband and her husband are twins and they own a business together. My husband is around her all of the time and she basically treats him badly. She said once that he was just another employee. She gives him lists. of things she wants done around her house and business, and treats him like a handy man. My husband comes from an affluent family, but he decided to take different path a long time ago. We live in a modest home and live pay check to pay check. My BIL and SIL, take this to mean that they are better than us and frequently make comments about how they feel. My SIL once told my husband that since he did not go to college, he did not the right to correct her grammar..... Anyway, recently we were asked to attend a family vacation. At first we declined, but after thinking about it we decided to join them. I started inquiring about the vacation and got really strange reactions. My husband came home last night fit to be tied...... He told me to quit bothering people with my questions about the vacation and he just went off on me...finally he told us that my SIL had told him that if we went on vacation she and her family would not go. She also implied that the fam wants to spend time with her family and not us. What do I do? What is the proper way to handle this? My children, 13 and 10 heard this argument, it upset them to hear these things. One even asked what they did to them that they were not invited.... I know I can not turn back the clock, but I sure want a better future for my children. Suggestions???