what your husband forces you to choose him or the grandkids

Karen - posted on 04/08/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I wonder if any grandparent out there has ever experienced this, I am in need of advice. My husband has never had children biologically and we are in the process of gaining custody of my two grandchildren, the case is going to trial to sever the parental rights and children will go up for adoption. I don't want them adopted outside the family and there are no other family members capable. My husband is OK with a temporary stay but does not want long term or adoption, he is forcing me to choose him or the innocent grandchildren. I will choose the grandchildren but having a difficult time accepting that his vow of good or bad doesn't mean anything to him.


Raye - posted on 04/08/2015




At a certain age, one has an expectation of the way their life will be. He probably never thought he would be in a position to raise kids, and some people aren't cut out for it. If he's really against it, and you're really for it, then there doesn't seem much other choice for how things will end up between you. Yes, his vows should be worth something, but you can't force someone into a situation they clearly have no desire to be in and expect them to be happy about it. Don't get me wrong, I feel you're probably doing the right thing for those kids so they are with family. But he's letting you know that your decision has consequences. Good for him being honest, at least, instead of dragging out the misery for a few years before it ends up the same. At least the kids won't have to endure that unhappiness after everything else they're going through.

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