whats wrong help!!

Jess - posted on 11/14/2013 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My son is 9 and I know 9 year olds like videogames and anything a mom would disagree with but he's stuck with school I can't make him seem to learn more like a kid his age besides that he likes to play with play dough little cars or action figures I don't understand what's going on because I asked she school and all they said is he's OK nothings wrong but
So that was no help I want to understand please help!!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/15/2013

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Here's the deal. YOU are your child's advocate. You need to keep pushing until someone helps you figure out what's going on. And you also need to take it up the chain of command at school as well. If you're not getting sufficient answers at the classroom level, talk to the principal. If not getting satisfactory answers there, take it to the superintendent.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/15/2013

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Your physician should not need a referral from the school to test for disabilities.

You need a second opinion on that one. The school and the physician are not dependent upon each other, as far as that goes. YOur physician should be ordering the testing, and if something results, your physician should be the one telling the school how to handle it. Not the reverse.

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Shanice - posted on 11/18/2013

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Every child is different, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with him!! My niece is into rocks and outdoorsy stuff, it doesn't mean she's messed up in the head. I was watching Barney and playing with Barbie dolls until I turned 15, lol!! Support his likes and dislikes.

Jess - posted on 11/15/2013

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I guess he was too lazy I'm planing on changeling his physician he been no help

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/15/2013

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The thing is too is all they see is him being violent and they judge based on that, they don't see him being bullied they should be seeing the whole picture and not just that. I know it's hard because I mean there's a lot of students to take care of but sheesh. When I was little I watched my mom struggle with my brother the problem is he's now 18 and still won't go to school. I hope your son will want to stay in school. She gave up fighting him but I REALLY hope you won't do that, my mom definitely isn't mother of the year (sorry mom) but yeah just don't give up, you might have to just keep bugging the school about the referral or talk to a different doctor cause either way no one that you are talking to now isn't really helping the situation at all. If they truly care about children's learning and development like they should then they should have no problem with the referral.

Jess - posted on 11/15/2013

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Finally someone understands!! Its hard to be a single mom and deal with an undiagnosed child where i m trying to find help but it seems like I'm running in circles , I'm trying to figure out what is the problem so I can help him even if the school said he's ok

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/15/2013

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Wow that is ridiculous. Of course he's going to lash out, he's being bullied! I swear they just hand out teaching jobs to just anybody now a days (no offense to any teachers on here) but it just seems that way. But they really need to stop sticking him in things before even knowing what the problem is.

Jess - posted on 11/15/2013

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I tried but I have to sit for 3 hrs to get one sheet done and were not talking correct answers were talking hatever to get her off my back.... last night he has a practice test of multiplication from school of 40 questions it took him 1 hr to add them till I told him its multiplications the it took him 3 more hrs to do you are the multiplications total 4hrs when I get home at 6pm from work u can imagine my struggle with helping him

Jess - posted on 11/15/2013

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Thanks I just hope they cooperate with everything every time I've tried to talk to them about the problem all they say is he's fine but still they decide to push him into a special class like u said they "solved the problem" last time he had an issue at school he was being bullied for a while he told the teaches and staff nothing happened but when he decided to throw the kid on the floor and hold him down now he has anger issues when that day he was on meds for bronchitis all they did was suspend MY SON for 2 days and place him in anger management I just hate it that coming from his mouth now he said sorry mom I have anger issues its stupid the way they "solve their problems " (sorry that was a little off the topic)

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/15/2013

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The school shouldn't give you a hard time getting a referral. I would probably sit down and have a nice long talk with the principal about the things that have been going on with your son and the reason for concern because it's not like he's just doing it at school he's doing it at home too, tell the principal that you went to the doctors but you need a referral from them because if there is something left diagnosed then it can cause bigger issues later on and you just want what's best for the little guy.
I REALLY hope they do it without headache because schools are supposed to be caring about children's learning. But now a days it seems where I live they just stick them in a special class too.
My brother has been diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD (i think they diagnosed him wrong though) but he's smart as heck he just doesn't like school and doesn't want to do the work so they stuck him in a special class. I guess that's their answer to everything.

I really hope they cooperate with you though because he should love reading now. And he thankful he doesn't like video games, that's a blessing because look at how many people rot from even playing that one game World of Warcraft, I've seen a family fall apart because buddy's WIFE was addicted to it.

Also for the record I love Scooby doo, and even if I didn't have kids I'd probably still watch it :P now if he was watching teletubbies I would then be concerned.

Jess - posted on 11/14/2013

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now my problem is where do I go to I had noticed a few little pattern and they're pushing him over to special classes and saying he's perfectly fine I don't understand what's going on I don't understand where to turn to I'm just trying to figure out how to cope with this and how to deal with his problem I just need to know where to turn to or where to go I asked the doctor the doctor said I needed to get some sort of a referral from the school when I'm looking at the school and they're saying all he's fine and pushing him into a special class I'm just trying to figure things out on what's going on or what to do

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2013

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So take him in for testing.

You said in your OP that the school says he's ok, but now you say that the school moved him from the mainstream into the special class, and he's still not doing the work.

That's NOT telling you he's ok. That's telling you that your son may have some learning disabilities that you need to address.

Jess - posted on 11/14/2013

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he hasn't been diagnosed with any wording disabilities but the teacher he had before at his previous school did mention something about him probably having some sort of a problem but didn't going to anymore with that topic the problem now is at his new school the teachers not mentioning anything about that and I'm trying to figure out because she just says that she's having trouble with him she can't make him read or make him do pretty much anything so she passed them over to a special class and they're still having a little bit of trouble with him

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2013

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Has he been diagnosed with learning disabilities? Have you had him checked?

Is he meeting the benchmarks for progress with his class?

Jess - posted on 11/14/2013

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I do turn off thet_v off but I don't understand how does he not understand the letters the meaning and the sound I tried teaching him as well as morning in school because I know school is not enough I have to take him at home as well but he just said he can't do it even if you try can do it I would sit there for 2 hours and he still doesn't doesn't do it

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2013

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I would be thankful that he doesn't like the violent video games.
If you are worried about his reading then turn off the TV and games console and get some books out. Read, read and read some more. Find some books that would interest him. There is a huge range of books that cover all interests in the children's section of any bookstore.
Playing with playdough and cars helps his fine motor skills as well as his imagination. Encourage it as much as you can.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2013

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Ok, so your kid's not into video games. That means that he's not into gaming. No big deal.

"a 9 yo hitting teen years"...he's not even at pre teen years yet, dear...

What's wrong with Ninjago & Scooby Doo? My teenage and adult kids enjoy them, as well as Phineas & Ferb, and pretty much anything that plays on Disney. Including Chuggington! Doesn't mean they aren't "normal"...means that they don't like the violence and situations portrayed in shows "geared" to their age group. No biggie there.

And my kids weren't taught beginning multiplication until they were in 4th grade, so 10 or so...sounds like he's right up where he needs to be to be meeting benchmarks for progress in school.

Part of the problem with kids these days is parents pushing them to grow up too fast.

Jess - posted on 11/14/2013

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not exactly college level but I would like him to learn how to read and understand a few words because all he knows is addition and subtraction his classes up to multiplication and he can't learn it because he says its not for himalso he's not interested in things that are age appropriate for him with her video games and things for a 9 year old hitting teen years he likes little kids stuff like a five year old such as Ninjago scooby Dooand loves kitty cartoons instead ofDisney X or something like that

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2013

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what do you mean he's stuck with school and you can't make him learn more?

What's wrong with playdoh? What's wrong with little cars & action figures? They're all age appropriate toys...Heck, my youngest is 16 & still collects hotwheels and matchbox cars.

Are you expecting college level calculus out of a 9 year old?

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