When did mommy become so grumpy?

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

I used to wake up happy, not sure when this was but I know I used to be a happy morning person. Now I'm grumpy when I wake up, grumpy when I go to bed, just grumpy all the time. When in the 7 years of being a mom did this happen and when will it go away?

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Iridescent - posted on 04/09/2010

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Your schooling options suck! I feel for you, no doubt. The fact that you realize the options and are doing your best says a lot; many parents don't bother.

Put hook/eye locks on the doors it's needed, just make sure the "hook" part is on the doorway, the "eye" on the door. We've accidentally locked ourselves out of rooms by slamming doors with them the other way! They're only $1.50 for a 2 pack lol.

One of our kids has a lot of health problems, and her life expectancy is 5 years. She requires a 1:1 nurse, so for us to go anywhere we need a nurse for her and a sitter for our other 4 kids. The only plus with the situation is I'm an RN so can provide most of her care, and be paid for some of it. We didn't know that until October last year, so was trying to juggle everything plus work out of the home besides full time. I was ready to lose my license I was so worn!

A really easy thing that might help - nice days are here. Open your doors, blast the music, go outside. Maybe look at the syllabus for things that need to be learned, and see what can be done outside instead.

Becky - posted on 04/12/2010

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Are you getting enough sleep? I have never been a morning person, but since having 2 little ones 18 months apart, I'm even less of one! Sleep deprivation will definitely do bad things to a person's mood! I second getting more time for yourself, and try to get more sleep if you can, if that's an issue. And remember, this too shall pass!

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Imbeautifuldawn - posted on 12/15/2012

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I completely understand! I am a mom of five and also homeschooling. I was always exhausted and was at the end of my rope. I knew I was suffering from mild depression, but was unable to take anything for it due to the fact that I am nursing (though some women with severe depression do take something for it, mine wasn't bad, so I didn't feel comfortable with the risk to my child). Then I read an article that said nearly half of women are vitamin D deficient. Among other symptoms was exhaustion and depression. I started taking 1000 milligrams daily and the difference is night and day!
For the first time in YEARS I am feeling well, have energy and not grumpy. Give it a try, it can't hurt.

Olivia Fingerson - posted on 12/14/2012

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my mom gets crabby because she has a headache or her back hurts or shes tired?

[deleted account]

In all reality Becky, no I'm probably not getting enough sleep. I wake up during the night for Tyler to go pee (he's finally outgrowing the night time peeing!), then other times I just wake up and can't go back to sleep, I talk in my sleep a lot and will wake myself of talking or moving, then just continue talking to my self in my head. The boys go to bed between 8 & 8:30 depending on what's gone on that day, then DH and I are usually in bed shortly there after, but I watch a tv program or read a book and before I know it it's 11pm or close to it. I sleep through DH's alarm clock most mornings and wake up just before mine goes off, but then can go back to sleep for a while. My me time today will be walking this afternoon and the school board meeting (which last all of 15 mins at the most - take me longer to drive to the school than the meeting last!)

[deleted account]

Thank you ladies, I appreciate your thoughts! I was up ready to kick some serious negative butt this morning and so far we're doing okay. I tried taking that Sam-E vitamin for the mood swings and such, made it so much worse. Guess my internal balance isn't off that much. Thank goodness the nice weather is coming, it's snowing on this mtn today and rather cold, but I'm still planning to do my walking this afternoon. I looked ahead at Cole's school work, we'll be done with everything in 4 weeks, then we can take an early summer break and just do some reading and journaling, since he loves to journal. If our principal quits/retires then I'd let the boys go the school up here, if the replacement teacher is a decent one, if not I'll keep homeschooling them. But the chances of the principal retiring are slim, he needs to be on a medical leave of absence but won't take the time off, he's milking the system for all he can before he retires in about 3 more years.

[deleted account]

i have the same problem, my patience was non exsistent and i was constantly on the edge... couldnt relax.. even when i had alone time... so i talked to my doctor.. finally... and she perscribed me zoloft.... im not on very much - half a pill a day.. but oh my gosh does it do wonders... im back to the calm, happy, person i was before =) my kids love it, my husband loves it, and i love it... im not saying this is you.. but sometimes we need a little help to get back to who we are..

Kristin - posted on 04/09/2010

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Wow, for both of you. I just read the whole thread. Sounds like everyone needs a little quality me time. I hope you can work some in soon.

Iridescent - posted on 04/09/2010

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Oh, and so you can smile! My husband just heard this song today and shared it with me!

[deleted account]

Could you just raise my kids for a few years? :) Yes I'm home schooling this year b/c we had issues with the principal at our little one room school and yes I've thought it's too much for me, but my other option is to take the boys off the mtn 5 days a week and we can't afford the gas for that. In hind sight, DH & I made the mistake of not putting a lock on our bedroom door, the bathroom doesn't even have a lock, only the boys bathroom does! Why did you have to hire a nurse? DH's family had a revolving door on the parents bdrm, my family was open too but I don't remember laying in my parents room watching cartoons, we were always in the living room. I do believe I'm on a serious burn out right now, I'm counting down the last few weeks of school already and wishing for the first summer vacation to get here so we can get away for a week!

Iridescent - posted on 04/09/2010

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Are you home schooling? It's great for some people, but maybe it's not the best idea for you as it is wearing you quite thin. Just a thought.



See if you can find a sitter for a regular night each week. It's what we finally had to do (both a sitter and a nurse the same time every week). Preferably someone adult, so bedtime isn't an issue.



Set some ground rules with the kids. In the morning, they're capable of watching cartoons and getting cereal if that's the chosen breakfast on their own. They are not to be in the bedroom, and you will be up to help them by x time. They're old enough to handle this. Shoot, my oldest are 8 and 10 and they set their alarms every night, get themselves up in the morning, get breakfast, get changed, etc, and get on the bus with no assistance. Sometimes they even help with getting the younger ones ready on weekends! Our bedroom is for adults only, unless invited in. When it's a problem, lock the door. Bathroom is not a group affair for toileting and showering, only for teeth brushing, hair care, and laundry. Again, lock the door until they learn.



Maybe your friend that you reconnected with can call or text with you outside the normal online times, as well.

[deleted account]

It's such a vicious circle, my "me" time has been on the computer which gets me in trouble because then I neglect my kids and don't want to go outside or do anything. I reconnected with an old friend on fb and now we message each other every day. I know I need to say I can only do it at such and such time, but we have a connection to each other and just sort of say everything that we can't say to others. I'm homeschooling my oldest this year and will be my 2nd son next year. I can't even say I get quiet time in the shower because the boys come in there for something or another. They seem to both be very whiny too, like they come in the room in the morning to watch cartoons while I'm getting dressed, then they start fighting because one is touching the other or something like that, then they want breakfast but they have to brush their teeth first, so they want my help and I'm still trying to get dressed. And as much as I love date night with my hubby, it's hard to do. We live in the mtns and town is 1 1/2 drive away, which is where he works. So when he gets home at night the last thing he wants is for me to take him back to town for a date, even though he agrees that we need them more often. And if I meet him in town then we're rushed to get home and get the boys in bed and neither of us can have a drink because we're in separate trucks and his is a company owned vehicle. Sounds like a bunch of excuses and more negativity, which I do try to stay away from, but sometimes it just happens! A good day for me would go like this: DH gets up w/his alarm the first time it goes off at 4:30am, I get up at 6 (& not have to share the bathroom w/DH), get the boys up by 7, be done with breakfast by 8. Clean part of the house & start laundry from 8-9, then school from 9-12. Lunch at noon, nap for the 4 y/o by 1pm, back to school if needed til 2:30. Outside play (weather permitting) from 2:30-5:30, which should give mom time for her walking, finish laundry, do her things and still be able to play with the boys. DH gets home about 6 and dinner is almost always ready by 6, bath at 7:30, bed by 8 for the boys and the parents are in bed by 8:45, though mom usually sits up and watches tv for a bit. But it very seldom works that way. Thanks for letting me "vent". Next week will be better, has to be, the boys start soccer on Wednesday afternoon!

Iridescent - posted on 04/09/2010

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Try getting some "you" time, and make sure you go on a date with your husband at least once a week (or boyfriend, or just out alone, whichever applies). It helps a lot!

Reynelle - posted on 04/09/2010

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{{{Big Hugs}}} Your post made me think back and smile. I went through a similar transition from happy morning person to grumpy for days... but, this too shall pass. As your children get older hopefully you will have more time to devote to activities that bring you joy and relaxation and fun (both with and without them). In the meantime, happiness is a choice that you make each day, not just a feeling. It takes some time to put it into practice, but deciding to be happy when you wake up no matter how you feel at the moment goes a long way towards getting back to your true happy self. And don't forget to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of your kids. I know that for a little while I was so caught up with taking care of my family that I neglected to eat well and get enough rest and exercise... big mistake... I got back on track with a little help and good advice from my friends and it made all the difference. I wish you well.

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