When do I tell them they are adopted?

RL - posted on 11/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Our adopted girls are African American half sisters. We are Caucasian. They are 4 and 5 and we are a very family oriented loving family. My 5 yr old is hinting she's on to something. As parents, we intend on telling the truth, no matter how difficult. But when???? what really is "age appropriate" today?


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Michelle - posted on 11/19/2014




I agree with Sarah, it shouldn't be something that is ignored. Of course they are going to notice something is different between your family and their friend's families.
You need to make sure it's not a bad thing that they are adopted. Let them know that you chose them and that makes them very special. The more it becomes a normal thing in your family the less difficult questions you will get.

Sarah - posted on 11/19/2014




Actually they should have already been told. They should have been told from day 1 no matter how old they were and then continued to share with them their adoption story from then on. So to answer your question.....today and not one day later. You want this to be an open and honest conversation. In order to do this you need to be open and honest. If it is just a conversation you have in your normal day then they don't feel ashamed at being adopted and they don't feel like it is a subject that can't be talked about. They are going to have questions as they grow and you want them to feel like they can come to you with those questions. ...in order for that to happen you have to create that environment by having the subject be just an ordinary subject that they know they can talk about at any time.

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