When do you finally decide to give up on a husband who has been battling drugs?

ShellyM - posted on 03/24/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband of 22 years has had a continuous problem with drugs..first it was drinking, then it went to prescription meds, hard street drugs, and then it stopped for a while...its been on and off battle for about 15 years, im 41 now and im exhausted. I thought he had gotten older and wiser as i have but yesterday he was high again...i couldnt even get mad at him...i was crushed...i just cant go through this again, the sneaking, the lying, the money, the plain bull crap that i have to deal with...does it really ever end? I know he has the best of intentions, and when not using, he is a very good husband but eventually you get tired of wondering if its ever gonna be over...any suggestions? .....exhausted

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Amy - posted on 03/24/2012

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Katherine is right he has to do this on his own you can't decide when enough is enough for him you can only decide when it's enough for you. He's not going to get help till HR hits rock bottom and that's different for everyone. Some people rock bottom is death others is when they're family leaves but the one thing you have to learn if you're going to get through this is you cant control him you can only control yourself. That's going to be probably the hardest thing. If you can start protecting yourself and your family and reach out to al-anon for support for yourself!

Chrystal - posted on 03/24/2012

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He's clearly an addict and so the answer of when does it really ever end is never. He will always be an addict and so the chance of him falling into drugs is always going to be there till the day he dies. You have to decided if you are willing to accept that fact or not. If you can't then a marriage won't survive be it during this slip or another down the road. That doesn't mean you have to accept the addict behavior or that you have to put yourself through hell for him. You deserve to have a happy, stable, healthy life you can't do that while he's using so he can't be with you when he's using. After 15 years of up and downs maybe it's time for you to honestly look at how much you are putting into this relationship and if you can afford to keep giving that much and still have what you deserve in life. I would urge you to seek out therapy for yourself or a support group for loved ones of addicts. Good luck and take care of yourself

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Katherine - posted on 03/24/2012

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Ah. Forgot about Al-Anon. You need to start getting support for yourself.

Katherine - posted on 03/24/2012

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Ah. Forgot about Al-Anon. You need to start getting support for yourself.

Katherine - posted on 03/24/2012

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NOW, you leave NOW. You have been sticking by him for years. You can't make him get help and you can't change him. He is going to have to do this on his own.

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