when enough is enough


Nancy - posted on 08/19/2016




Hello out there. My son just turned 20. In college. Barely making it. Blows off courses. Drops courses. Angry. Nasty. Hateful. Rages over the slightest things. Of course, there is much much more as this has been going on since 9th grade. As a worn-down to the bone mom from the abuse over six years, I told him to pack his bags and leave today.

Yes, he has mental issues - depression, anxiety - possibly BPD. Yes, been to psychiatrist.

I am a single Mom. He has been the love the light of my life. He is my only child. I must share that I am actually mourning the loss of my son. Who is he. What is he. And for the life I had hoped for him that he most likely will never have. In the last six months, he's broken my windshield with his fist when I turned the wrong way, broke a TV at a college function, threw a glass at his roommate, -- last two places we lived, I've replaced broken glass front door and holes kicked in the wall. (We lost our home to SuperStorm Sandy when he was beginning his junior year in high school) - BUT the behavior started in 9th grade.)

Today, was the final straw. Final straw because he is emotionally destroying me. With each fit of rage, I become more and more traumatized, almost like a PSTD reaction. All because I asked him to call his father to thank him for buying his eyeglasses that were delivered via fed ex this morning - because he lost his. Nope, He was too tired. Needed to go back to sleep. Had been awaken from sleep by the Fed Ex man. Nope. He would call later. Two weeks ago rage: please walk your girlfriend to the door after she had attended a family wedding with us. Got the F word - slammed the car door - than raged in the car and threaten to jump out. And the trauma and drama and cycle of abuse continues.

I have not been able to accomplish my work since he came home after the semester. (I work from home online marketing business). Literally, nothing. Because the assaults and the attacks take the life out of me.

Actually, I'd like to hear from the Moms about one thing in particular:

Have any of you ever kicked your child out -- and did it turn things around? Was there a behavior change? Was there ever an apology? Or --- was that the end. Or --- did it just make things worse.

Blessings and thank you in advance for reading this and for your feedback. (Please know that I KNOW about the mental issues and they are being addressed -- BUT - the behavior of abuse has not changed).
...ps - I have no idea how he is going to 'live' since he has no money or a job. He has an off-campus townhouse he is moving into the end of this month - but HE can't pay for it - or his food -----tuition has already been paid.

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