When husband is out-we always argue

Jenn - posted on 02/26/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are both first time parents to our 10 month old son. My husband will go out occasionally (3-4 times a month) with his "buddies" and when he does, he always comes home (without fail) very intoxicated and never on time. His group of buddies-some are married and none of them have children yet.
I never hold him back from going out, but I do ask that he comes home on time (he tells me what time he will be home and I expect him home at that time. Usually it is around 12-1am) and not so heavily intoxicated. However, that never happens.
The other night he went out and promised to be home by 1am and I told him I needed him home right away because our son is sick. He didn't show up until 3:30am "blacked out"...When he comes home in that state of mind, he is absolutely of no help. He started mixing water and ready to feed formula in our son's dirty bottles...I don't know what he was doing! .I am so exhausted and tired of arguing with him over the same thing and I don't know what to do. His argument is that he works hard and should be able to go out and hang out with his buddies when he wants too. He also tells me that he would gladly be a stay at home dad any day and that I should go find a real career like his so I know what it feels like. He doesn't realize how difficult it can be to be a stay-at home mom. My family and friends live out of state. I have no one here...I don't know what to do.. We've been together for 8 years married for 3..
when he goes out-we always argue. What should I do?

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Jenn - posted on 02/27/2016

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thank you MaryAnn. you are right all this arguing doesn't help. I need to find some kind of balance with the whole situation. I really appreciate your advice

MaryAnn - posted on 02/27/2016

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Stop arguing. I know. Easier said than done. Being a stay at home mom is HARD work. I'm sorry hes not acknowledging you.
NNagging and arguing and bickering clearly arent working. Get the good coffee for these nights he is clearly not giving up. Ask for the same leniency from him. If he goes out for a blast twice a month, demand the same.

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