When is it ok for my daughter to start shaving?

Elizabeth - posted on 06/08/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )




My 12 year old daughter Hannah has been asking me lately if she can shave her legs. She is in 6th grade and will be going into high school next year. I'm worried she will be teased if she has hairy legs. Her hair is very fine and barely visible. I really don't know how to answer her. Her older sister Angelina is 17 and started shaving when she was 14 so I'm wondering whether 12 is too young for Hannah? She appears to be quite insistent, so I don't know if saying no will have a bad effect on her. I just want my kids to be happy and sometimes I really don't know the best way. Please help me. Should I let my 12 year old shave her legs?


Celosia - posted on 06/12/2015




I find it interesting that one has to ask. What do we mean by ok? Okay, as in socially acceptable? A lot of moms I know go with the whole, 'it's their body' answer but a small child doesn't get to eat what he/she wants just b/c it's his/her body.
The mom's who let their girls shave at whatever age she decides, are the moms that helps the whole wave of self-consciousness to happen among our middle school girls. So what about leg hair?
I want to know, are we ever going to be a culture that accepts women as having hair? I mean, many people accept gay marriage and transgender procedures so when do women get to be accpeted for having hair?
Why do we have to fear our daughters being teased for body hair when we are in an era with so many programs and efforts and messages to prevent bullying? If someone teases a girl about her body, hair or otherwise, it's a bullying issue, isn't it?
I accept that my perspective here is rare and unusual. But I bring it into the conversation because personally, I can't help but to think about the impact that hair removal and hair dying has on our environment. We care about the waters of the earth yet we dye/color our hair. We care about envrionmental issues but we add hair and wax-filled muslin strips and dull razors into the landfill or we let hair and shaving creams be washed down the drain. Letting our children do what they want to their bodies and make that decision b/c it's 'their body' excludes teaching them about the impact of their actions.
What if we really want the beauty standards put on us as women to change? It saddens me to think that my daughter cannot enter high school, let alone college without conforming. She is not strong enough to be able to stand on her own. She has only been on this planet for 13 years and though she is intelligent enough to be offended by sexism and recognize A LOT of it, she is not strong enough to go against our social norms. For a woman to be professional and hence, succeed... she will conform. Why is it that we as mothers are not insisting acceptance for all body types? Even the hairy ones. Afterall, body hair doesn't prevent pleasure and men and women still fall in love with people who have hair growing in many different places on the human body. It's about the beauty within, right? ... and love.

Well, my approach- child, if you want it, you can pay for it. And as you work for it, you can ask yourself, is it worth it? But no matter what you choose, I still LOVE YOU. And in the meantime, when you think you want to change something about yourself, let the change be accepting yourself.

Nicole - posted on 06/11/2015




12 is a very normal age to start shaving. I let my daughter start the summer between 6th and 7th grade...it's when they start to notice and then the following year, she was sick of shaving already and did it the bare minimum that an adult woman does...the novelty wears off fast...


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Joce - posted on 06/10/2015




12 in my opinion is a perfectly ok age to shave, telling her otherwise will not change really... she will do it anyways.
Like Sara said, most of the kids she has contact with shave by that age.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2015




Try not to compare her to your other daughter. Every child is different.

I started shaving around 10-11. I had very hairy legs and was extremely self conscious. 12 imo is not to young.

Dove - posted on 06/08/2015




If she wants to shave her legs... let her. I left that decision 100% up to my daughters because it is THEIR legs. They started asking me at 10 simply out of curiosity and I let them know that whenever they started was completely up to them, but once they started they would be stuck w/ it for life. I think they were around 11.5-12 to start. I was 11.5 when I started as well.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2015




Yes, I think 12 is an appropriate age. I started shaving at that age and so did my daughter. Most of the kids in her class had already been shaving by time she turned 12 yrs old.

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