When is the best time to introduce my daughter to my new boyfriend?

Melissa - posted on 11/16/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I widowed and it's been one year since I lost my husband (it was a car accident). I've decided that it's been long enough now that I feel comfortable dating. I have found an amazing guy and I absolutely adore him! He just went through a divorce about 6 months ago so we're both kind of in the same situation. He doesn't have kids though. We have been together about 3 months now and we're pretty serious. We've talked about our future and what we both want, I've met his parents and family, and I stay him every weekend (I live 45 mins away from him so that's the only time we have free to see each other without my daughter). The pressure to introduce my 2 year old daughter to him is getting unbearable. He has expressed serious interest in meeting her and he asks/talks about her all the time. But we haven't gotten to the "I love you" point yet and I'm scared that introducing him too early will scare him off. My daughter is only 2 so I'm not worried about her. She never knew her real dad (she was only 6 months old when he passed away) so introducing him will be easy for her. She'll just assume he's another person she gets to play with lol but I'm eager for him to meet her and see how good he is with her. I don't want to wait too long and have him think that I'm having doubts about him. But at the same time I want to wait and be 100% sure that we're staying together before I introduce them. I'm back and forth on the issue and I need some opinions to kind of decide what I should do :/


Jodi - posted on 11/16/2015




It is highly possible you guys are both in rebound relationships - you wouldn't know that yet, you are still in honeymoon phase. Rebound relationships are very real after the loss of someone (and you have both experienced loss). I would wait.

Dove - posted on 11/16/2015




I'd wait a few more months at least. If it's going to last... 3 months is nothing. And if it doesn't last... 3 months is still nothing. you don't want to end up introducing men to your daughter that will disappear.


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Raye - posted on 11/16/2015




I was sort of where your boyfriend is. I had divorced, no kids, started dating a man who was divorced with two kids. We were both concerned that it could be rebound (even though it didn't FEEL like it), and I was more cautious about meeting the kids than him. Kids can become attached very easily, so I would warn you to take things slow and wait. We were (are) both head over heals and probably rushed things a bit in the beginning. We're married now and sometimes I wish I had waited a while longer to ease into this life a bit more. I have no regrets, I love my husband and the kids. It's just that you realize afterward that you should have enjoyed the beginning a little more instead of trying to turn it into something else too quickly. Enjoy the buildup to seeing each other at the end of the week. Enjoy the private time you have together. I know it seems easier of to get some of these pesky little things (like introducing the kids and moving in together) out of the way. But, if you're going to spend forever together, hold off a little longer in these beginning stages.

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