When is too old to sleep with us?

Jennie - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




Our daughter turned 2 in Jan and started to climb out the crib so we had the crib that turned into the bed and she refused to get in it. So she is sleeping on the floor now on her mattress. And she sometimes likes to sleep with her big sister. But everynight she comes in our room Maybe once a month she sleeps a full night in her bed. It is any were from 2am-6am that she comes in. I feel that she needs to go back to her bed. (when it was a crib she slept there all night everynight). But my husband cant stand to listen to her scream that early. and I mean she has a fit and wakes to whole house so he thinks it easier to let her crawl in bed with us. I dont think so. We might lose some sleep fighting with her back to bed but I think its worth it. I even told him its her or me in bed but not both. I never had this issue before. Any help?


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Minnie - posted on 04/07/2011




Too old is when everyone is uncomfortable with it. Seriously- you guys are a family. Nothing wrong with sleeping together.

Stephanie - posted on 04/07/2011




i have never slept in my parents bed. my mom would occasionally sleep in my bed, but after a while that got old for me too.
i love my child dearly (she's almost 2) but after spending all day with her, I like to get a good night's rest.
she slept in her bed in her room since day 1.
when she got a little cold, i would take her to bed with me so she would sleep. I could make sure she slept in an angle so she could breath. AFter battling for 2 months to get her back in her own routine. I had to sleep train her for 4 days.
Yes, she screamed but not for long. it was usually 20 min. and then she was asleep. same thing during nap time. although nap time she would go down with no issues.
after 4 days i could lay her down she would turn around and go to sleep.

it's a personal decision. i don't want my child sleeping in a bed with me all night. She has her room and her bed.
And honestly what does that do to your and your husbands love-life, when at any moment your kid can walk into your room.

Sit down wiht your husband, tell him what you want. Ask what he wants. And if his only issue is hearing her cry, send him to a friends house for 5 days.
When you say he's concerned of her waking the whole house, does he mean your family or do you live in stairwell housing?

also, go to store and see if you can find a "fun bed" for you daughter, that she might enjoy sleeping in, that is close to the floor. maybe with a theme that she picks out.
maybe you can get a her little "castle and put a mattress in there. something fun.

if you want her to stay in her room, in her bed, be prepared for her to scream. it'll take a couple of days, but i doubt more than a week. Consistency is the key.

Carolyn - posted on 04/05/2011




It sounds like you and your need to figure out whats best for you two. If it's a big problem for you express it to your husband, have a heart to heart. But don't be one sided....listen to what he has to say too. In our family our children are never to old. Sometimes the sleep with us sometimes they don't. My mother lives 4 hours from me and when we visit each other we still sometimes sleep in the same bed. There is something comforting about sleeping next to your mommy no matter how old you are.

Bonnie - posted on 04/05/2011




My boys are 2.5 and almost 4.5 and there are nights where they come in our bed. I honestly don't know when is too old. For me, I would say 7 or 8.

Alison - posted on 04/04/2011




My son used to frequently join us in our bed in the night until one day when he was 3 he'd appeared in our bed before we even got there ourselves. My husband and I looked at each other then both went and got in his bed. He followed us to his room and plainly told us 'that's my bed!' . We then told him that the other bed was our bed and the penny dropped - he never came in in the night again. He was old enough to understand that it wasn't that we didn't love him, we just wanted our own bed! 2 is very young for a child to understand. That's why they'll make a fuss. My son now has a 2 year old of his own . She regularly sleeps with them they are fine with it as they never need to get up in the night and everyone gets more sleep. The problem comes if they wriggle a lot but my son has his daughters cot bed with the side off next to their bed so she can also go back easily if necessary.

Amber - posted on 04/04/2011




When we switched our son's bed from the crib to the bed (at 15 months), we put a gate on his door. I didn't want him running loose in the house and getting hurt. He would occasionally get up in the middle of the night and I would go soothe him and put him back to sleep.
After my son got used to sleeping in his bed with the gate on the door, we moved the gate to the hallway. Then he could come crawl in bed with us when he woke up in the morning at 7-8. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, and then it just depended on what he wanted as to how we handled it. I didn't have a problem with him occasionally crawling into bed, but it wasn't the norm.

That's still pretty much the morning routine that we have now, just without the gate.

Pia - posted on 04/04/2011




If you're not ok with her in your bed then NOW is too old. At some point you will have to break her of the habit and she will scream. And it's hard work and it can take a couple of weeks.
I would research methods and find one you and your husband are comfortable with using. Then persist with the method every night until it works, one night you do it, one night your husband does it. Good luck.

Candace - posted on 04/04/2011




well, my boyfriend let his son sleep with him then had a hard time getting him to sleep on his own. in fact he didnt start sleeping on his own till he was 7, and wasnt sleeping in his room till 8, before that he was on the floor near the bedroom, then in the living room. I think its not a habit i'd get into.

Emily - posted on 04/04/2011




Personally I don't think 2 is too old to be sleeping in your bed. My 4-year-old will often come sleep with us in the middle of the night. I guess if that's a battle you want to fight, go ahead.. but I don't think it's the end of the world if she still sleeps with you. I guarantee you she won't want to do it when she's 10 ;)

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