When should I allow my 11 yr. old boy and 10 yr. old twin boys have cell phones.

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Clara - posted on 09/05/2012




My children are very responsible and take the bus home (City bus not school). My son is 15 and my daughter is 12. They are both very responsible for their ages, but it depends on child maturity. If you're child just doesn't much to really be in need of a cellphone, then I think you should wait.

Veronica - posted on 11/13/2009




I didn't get a cellphone until I was sixteen, but because of my parents working schedules and the fact that I played basketball I was allowed to borrow my mom's cell while at games or practice. If I stayed with a friend they just made sure to get the other child's parent's cell and home number. When I did finally get a phone, I got their old phone and could only get a new one if I paid for it and my contract was up. Also, if I ever left it out in the open they would look through my texts and stuff, but that was only when I started hanging out with bad people. I think it helped me a lot with them trying to keep a close eye on me even though I complained so much about it then.

[deleted account]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I think you have to be careful with cell phones. Too many people I think, decide they have given their very young children a phone so they can be more lax with supervision. Not everyone. Personally I don't think there is any reason a child that isn't driving needs a phone. You should know where they are, and they should be with other adults that you trust, including their friends' parents, so they shouldn't need to use a cell phone. Young children shouldn't be by themselves, the only justification I can see for a phone.
I'm going to buy my son a phone when he goes to college. That is what my family did for me. And I was very involved with extracurriculars. If I didn't come home when I should my parents wouldn't have a problem finding me. If your child is responsible and comes straight home there should be limited places to look for him, along the roads he would take from point a to point b. I also had to pay for my phone if I went beyond my very limited minutes. Children are spoiled today beyond reason. I consider that I myself was spoiled, in a good way, compared to lots of other children, but I didn't get a brand new car, new phones all the time and name brand clothes.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/13/2009




Hi my son James got his first phone when he was Eight given to him by his dad and it was meant only for a trail but he is 12 now and he is really into phones. At the time i wasn't happy. That age is alright but i would properly wait another year and tell them it is just for safety and not for image. My son every year wants a new phone and i blame his dad for this as i haven't 6 phones like his dad. Beware they can get hooked on the new trends of phone. We had an argument over xmas presents as my son wasn't happy with the one i choose for him .

Chelsie - posted on 11/12/2009




i got a cell phone when i started 6th grade(13)... but the rules was if my grades dropped i lost it... i was also told i could use so many chat mins and at the time no texting and if i didnt follow the rules my parents took my phone.. i still have my phone but the rules have changed since i have a son and we have unlimited texting and rollover mins.

Sharon - posted on 11/12/2009




My oldest has had a cell phone since he was about 10? he's 14 now. he's always done well with it.

We live rurally. Between shootings at schools, keeping in touch, missing the bus, finding each other on a crowded sports fields (over 10 fields in one spot), long distances between friends houses (REALLY rurally), I felt he needed it.

He only gets to keep it if he has good grades though.

He does text alot. But we have an unlimited plan for our family anyway.

We don't have friends or family close by. If something goes wrong he has to be able to reach ME or his dad.

With 3 kids in soccer and all games played on saturday and only 2 parents - guess he has to find his field on his own? then find his mom & dad in a melee of people?

There aren't any payphones out here, none on the soccer fields, meeting at an agreed upon spot becomes problematic if someones game gets moved or we have to run to get halftimes snacks because another family forgot or didn't show up..

Nope this worked for us.

My 10 yr old doesn't have one. He is always with us or his older brother.

My 7 yr old doesn't have one either. Again she is always with us or her older brother.

Neither of them is really interested in getting a phone. They enjoy the shiny phones and the beeps they make but they are free to play with mine or my husbands, any time they want to.

Jill - posted on 11/12/2009




I know a 9 year old with a phone and he is completely obsessed with it. It occupies every moment of his existence and he even rides his scooter with it in his hands! He uploads musical ring tones for the phone and some are not appropriate. Some children are not mature enough to handle the responsibility. I think we all need to remember what we did prior to cell phone technology!

Debra - posted on 11/12/2009




I'm glad I didn't have to deal with this with my children. I say a prayer every day for all the crazy new things moms have to deal with these days. I do however have a couple of grandchildren your boys ages.

This is how we're dealing with the cell phone issue in our family:

First, they are too young to have their own, personal phones. Mom had an extra phone that gives to them if they are going out with friends, heading to a ball game or spending the night somewhere. This way we know they have a way to get in touch with us if something goes wrong or we need to contact them. When they get home, they give the phone back.

Second, We won't even discuss having a phone of their own until they are at least 13 and then they have to have the means to pay for it, at least partially, therefore showing responsibility for this new privilege.

I hope this helps or at least gives you somewhere to start.

Connie - posted on 11/12/2009




I am very sensitive about this topic - so it will be challenge for me to address this objectively - I'm going to try, however.

Personally, my boys are not allowed to have cell phones until they are in high school - that is because that is when the extracurricular activities (sports, friends, etc) really start to kick in, and in today's world, I do resentingly agree that a cell phone is a necessary safety precaution.

Before that, however, I think is absurd. I do not see any valid reason for kids to have cell phone before that....most are not responsible, or mature enough. And I'm not willing to pay for there social calls - limited or not.

I have also explained to my boys that until they can pay for their own cell phone bill, that even in highschool they will have a phone that is adult monitored - Only certain numbers will be programmed (home, mine & hubby's work, mine & hubby's cell, grandmas', and aunts'). When they begin to work, and if they choose, they can opt. for paying for a pre-paid service for social calling, that way I don't get stuck with a $100+ phone bill under my name (which at least where I live, the bill has to be under an 18+ years name).

There - I think I handled that well :) Good luck!

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