When should kiss date

User - posted on 03/09/2014 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I would say any age really my mom let me date when I was 9 and I have been dating since either way your kids WILL date without your permission

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2014

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~Closing this thread..you are a little boy on a moms site~

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Jodi - posted on 03/12/2014

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Well, Sarah, you have a pregnant 16 year old. I think you can figure the answer to that one out.

Sarah - posted on 03/12/2014

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Wait after seeing everyone's posts am I ok? I let my children hang out in groups like double dating only not dating. I allow them to date at age 15 1\2 only if they want to.

Latasha - posted on 03/11/2014

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Hi there I'm wondering if we are thinking a little to much about this I remember thinking I was dating at that age you pass notes in class and share a piece of gum but by lunch time it's all over lol Do 9 yr olds really know what dating is or are they just acting on a crush?

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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Heather, OP is opening post or opening poster :) He's a kid who thinks he should be allowed to actually go out with his girlfriends at age 10.

And I apologise if you felt I was saying your opinion was invalid. That was not my intention.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/10/2014

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Tyler, in my opinion, your parents need to pull your internet access as well. You have posted some of the most hilarious (quite OBVIOUSLY a kid) comments I've seen in a long time.

FYI, be thankful that you're not my kid, because while you MAY be getting away with this shit with YOUR parents, I guarantee that if you were to tell me (as your mother) that you WILL do whatever you want, I will proceed to show you that the only things you WILL do are those that I and your father WILL allow.

Gotta love teenagers, though...LMAO...y'all think you know everything! Have fun with that. Reality can be a hard blow for kids like yourself...

Heather - posted on 03/10/2014

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Thank you, Jodi. I am new to this site, have no idea what an OP is, and am much younger than you. I guess I missed where someone indicated what type of dating. And I guess I misunderstood many comments after as well..But one point that you, oh so graciously made clear is: on any form, whether on a 'mom site' seemingly geared towards teaching and uplifting the community or not, people have no more room for information other than that which supports the opinions they already hold. How could I have thought "I've always had a different opinion, but ____ is a good point" would ever be said?? (Public discourse hardly ever actually has room for alternative views) As I am now aware- I made no valid points with my original opinion...because the (oversimplified) whole was different from yours and "many" others. I didn't miss other posts he wrote- I wasn't actually responding to him, as my response attempted to expound on the topic and appeal to would be moms in the situation; calling for an open mind and responsible parenting (to help children develop relationship skills throughout their lifetime instead shutting down the topic until they are "mature" and then throwing them in head first) Its amazing, isn't it, how being well-seasoned makes one's opinion no different than anyone else's..but makes one feel like their opinion is in some way well-seasoned and can't stand any altering. Than you for the welcoming!

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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But that isn't dating in the sense that the OP indicates dating should be allowed. I didn't miss your point. Perhaps you missed the point many were trying to make in this thread. You may also have missed the other posts this OP has posted.

I grew up well before you did, and as a high school teacher, I would still say the generations have not changed. A 10 year old today is no more mature (and really no more knowledgeable) than a 10 year old in the 1980s. They may have more access to information ow.....but they are actually far less mature and less knowledgeable. Amazing, isn't it, how access to information makes one less knowledgeable and amenable to learning.

Heather - posted on 03/10/2014

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I think you missed my point. You admitted they have relationships at school. So ..they date. "Of this nature" only proves my point further in that I wouldn't allow a 10 year old to go on adult dates either, but the nature of the date was never specified. I specified the appropriateness based on age. A ten year old who has a bf at school SHOULD be able to bring that person around their family as to not start a pattern of hiding the contents of their relationship. And I do not know your age but I grew up with the internet. I am sure there is a pure generational difference in the amount of access children have to the world (good and bad) We can agree to disagree on that point.

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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Um, I am a high school teacher. I still wouldn't let my 10 year old date. Sorry. Sure, they will have relationships at school, but actually going out on dates? No way. It has nothing to do with generation. Our kids still are not ready for relationships of this nature at this age....remembering the OP mentioned the age of 9. The generations have not changed.

Heather - posted on 03/10/2014

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I think people should take into account the generation our children will be growing up in. The fact is children are "dating," at school. In highschool, middleschool, I even remember instances in elementary. The way I was raised- I wasn't allowed to go on dates, period. What did that do for me? Created a young adult who was in no way prepared for the real world. I have since decided that the most effective approach is to teach your child independence, boundaries, proper relationship skills, letting your needs be known, emotional expression, compassion.. all types of relationship skills from a very young age. As long as it is tailored to their stage of development. Should a 9 year old be able to go on what we as adults see as a date? No. I also definitely would not condone kissing. However, I do believe if the child is interested, telling them no dating till your [insert a seemingly harsh age in the eyes of any child] will not get rid of their interest. Helping them to build [age] appropriate relationships, especially with the opposite sex is a task that too often gets glossed over when parenting. A 16-18 year old is not going to allow you to tell them how to handle their relationship, but if you have always talked about and been open regarding relationships, When the time comes for serious dating they will be ready and more likely to seek advice. My children are very young so this is all just theory and will be much harder when they come of age.. however, my 6 year old talks about her school "boyfriend" all of the time. Should I shut her down and tell her that's not allowed? Or should I look at her innocent situation as an opportunity to teach her the empowerment and security that many women lack. Again all of this should be age appropriate of course; I doubt I will allow my (3) daughters to go on unsupervised (non-group) dates until they are around 16 or so.. but please open your minds to the fact that this is not a black and white issue

Ev - posted on 03/09/2014

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Tyler, my kids grew up in the middle of the country and had limited access to going out on dates unless the PARENTS drove them. My daughter dated a boy from school and neither had their driver's lisences as yet. Parents took them to and from the date. They did not have the chance to sneak around to go behind our backs...their father or me. They had to ask us to take them and my son is 17 and has not had interest in the girls at his school because they do not interest him. So really, until you are a parent.....you do not know.

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2014

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My 16 year old has only JUST started dating, and that's the way it should be. Until then, they simply don't have the emotional readiness for a relationship.

Celeste - posted on 03/09/2014

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Exactly Jodi. My daughter is 11 and isn't interested at all in boys. Hopefully she'll stay that way. I'm going to let her be a kid for as long as she wants

Jodi - posted on 03/09/2014

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I have a 9 year old, and she will date over my dead body. Sure, she knows what sex is, but that doesn't mean she is in any way even CLOSE to ready for it.

User - posted on 03/09/2014

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Actually I knew what sex was at that time that's what all the boys talked about but I think the kid should date when they want to and I bet your kids did date behind your back they wouldn't have much time to get a boyfriend or girlfriend when they are 16 because school will be almost over and there may me a boy or girl that really liked your kids and it broke there heart I feel sorry for them and your kids

Ev - posted on 03/09/2014

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If your mother allowed dating when you were nine years old then I feel sad for you. There is no reason a child that age needs to date. 1) They are a child. 2) They do not understand what relationships are and so on. 3)My kids did not date without my permission. They were allowed to start dating at 16 years of age.

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