When to start giving an allowance???

Jennifer - posted on 10/18/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I recently read somewhere to start now with a "reverse" reward system for my almost 4 yr old daughter.

What you do is give them so much money or whatever at the beginning of the week and at the end of the day if they were bad or didn't do anything they were supposed to do then you take away from what you gave them. So for example if you give them $5 for the week then if they were bad the first day you take away $1 and then they have $4. And you keep going for the week. Then at the end of the week you see what they have left, if anything, and then they can use what is left on something special.

Has anyone else heard of this or tried this?? I am looking for anything to help my daughter learn that it is not okay for her to behave the way she does.

Thanks! :)

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Jennifer - posted on 10/18/2011

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I was just using money as an example. I went back and read the original article and the example they used was tickets or coupons and the something special could be something they want to buy or a place they wanted to go or things they wanted to do with the family. I would never reward good behavior with money either. But thought this was an interesting idea. She will be turning 4 next month and doesn't have that many chores so right now her behavior is one major factor. She has good days where she is really good, doesn't talk back, listens very well to what she is told. Then there are days where she is very uncontrollable. I tell her that I will take toys away and she tells me to do so. When I grab a trash bag to do it, she brings me her toys. :(

She also talks back already and thinks it is cute and funny. I have tried time out and it doesn't work - right now. I just don't know what else to do. Thanks again.

PS - I must have been in a hurry when I posted earlier. lol

Tamara - posted on 10/18/2011

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Regarding behavior, what we do is on the weekends, say something like, 'Hey we only had 3 outbursts this week I say its a good idea to celebrate and have a picnic or iceskating' (or what ever based on the season) so we are celebrating the behavior we want with more family time, then stress a little more on how much I enjoy spending time with everyone when we get along and can have fun with each other. We have found that rewarding and stressing what we do want in terms of behavior like this helps more then anything else we have tried with most of the kids,

Jodi - posted on 10/18/2011

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No, I don't link allowance to behaviour either. I DO link the allowance to their willingness or otherwise to do their chores, but I expect the chores to be done regardless, as well as any additional tasks I may ask of them. If they kick up a fuss and make it difficult and choose not to do them properly they simply won't get their allowance. I am not going to pay an allowance if I have to battle to get things done. So I never, EVER get an argument from my kids when I ask them to please do their chores, or to help with something, and at the end of each week, I hand them their allowance with a "thank you for being so helpful this weeK". But to link it to behaviour in general? No.

Tamara - posted on 10/18/2011

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I never paid an allowance based on behavior so I can't help with that. We give surprises based on who did chores and did homework. I wont pay for good behavior in in monetarily ways

Sharlene - posted on 10/18/2011

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I thinks thats great!!!!!! can you tell more about it please. thanks

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