When to stop being naked around your kids?

Alexandra - posted on 06/04/2015 ( 35 moms have responded )

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I have a son at 8, and I wonder when it is time to start covering up around him? For example when it comes to getting dressed in the morning and so on. Up until now I have never bothered if he happened to enter the room when I was getting dressed, but now when my son is growing up I am wondering when and if I should start being more modest around him? What are other moms experiences regarding this issue?

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Alexandra - posted on 10/18/2015

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Hi Olivia. Things are about the same in my family. I still don't really bother to cover up if my son happen to get in my room when I get dressed, he is just 8. But I teach him to knock before :) If I notice that my son thinks or says "Cover up mom!" I will do that. I think it will come natural one day. If not I guess he has a more natural view of nudity.

[deleted account]

Like Gena W, my husband and I sleep nude and our kids adopted our habit when they came along. Yes, the kids have separate rooms, but there are still bare-bottoms in sight every morning and at bedtime. And no, we don't hang out naked around the house during the day. I feel this is a good balance for us. Insisting on always covering up kind of implies that our bodies are somehow shameful, which they are not. If one or both decide someday to cover up, that's fine with me. Thank you Alexandra for starting the thread.

[deleted account]

I'm with you Alexandra. I think you and your son's attitude towards nudity is much more positive. I hope your husband can agree. Maybe you can ease his concerns somehow. Sounds like you have the support of the commentators here. I guess everyone is different, but for us a more relaxed attitude towards nudity has been positive.

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2015

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Richard: Read Dove's post properly! She said the 1st reply, not yours. The first one is from Phyllis, a "Christian" woman.

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Annette - posted on 11/11/2016

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If it ain't broke, don't fix it! He see's nothing wrong, you see nothing wrong. Shock, horror, he might actually grow up to be a well balanced, respectful boy instead of a desperate pervert like most teenage boys are. The reason? They are taught that the human body is dirty and must never be seen. So what do they want to do? See naked bodies! What does this demand spawn? PORN.

You are doing fine and he sounds like a happy, well adjusted boy. Keep up the great work xx

[deleted account]

Haven't checked this post in a few months and was a bit curious how things worked out. Hope all is cool with everyone.

Saijra - posted on 06/16/2015

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Its a very touchy subject for me but when I was young my father abused me in many different ways and because of what had happened I don't do alot of stuff that normal moms would like getting dressed or taking a shower in front of her and I know this is tmi but when shes taking a nap in her room and me and my bf want to have sex when I hear just one noise coming from the baby monitor we stop

Alexandra - posted on 06/09/2015

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Thank you for your comments everyone. It is all very intereting to read your experience and thoughts about this subject.

Olivia B. - " Insisting on always covering up kind of implies that our bodies are somehow shameful, which they are not." I completely agree!

Gena - posted on 06/07/2015

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My husband and I also sleep naked and our son (4) has seen us naked and isn't bothered at all. We also take showers together naked on the days where he doesn't take a bath with his dad. It has not been an issue at all till now. I guess that might change when he is older.
When I grew up we were 3 girls. My father wads never naked around us though. I don't know why. We were aloud to see our cousins or friends naked in summer when we were young. But my father never walked around naked in front of us. My mom did though when she showered etc.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/07/2015

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I think he felt that because step dad was not biologically related it was flat out inappropriate. It could have also been a bid for control, but either way...it did lead to some confusion for me about the whole situation of nudity. In the end, though, mom won out, and all five of us girls seem fairly comfortable about our own bodies- even in the nude.

Alexandra - posted on 06/07/2015

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Olivia B. - Thank you. I think so too. Maybe I can talk to him to make him see it is positive. Perhaps he is just uncomfortable.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/06/2015

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For clarity, by father i meant bio dad. My step dad was cool with nudity, and cool with us hanging out at bath time... he wasn't cool with the idea of facs coming around, or my bio dad believing that there was something shady going on.

Alexandra - posted on 06/06/2015

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MaryAnn Fawkes - Yes, it is like nudity in a family becomes a problem when you make it a problem? I was raised to not be ashamed of nudity when growing up, but when I got into my teens embarrassment came naturally for me. My husband is a bit like your step dad, that he thinks I should not show myself naked to my son at any time...

Alexandra - posted on 06/06/2015

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Dove, Olivia B. - Thanks for your comments. My son doesn't care about nudity at all what it seems like, and if I notice any signs of that he is embarrassed I will probably start to cover up more. I also think nudity at home is not an issue, and yes it is about respecting other family members.

However my husband is a bit annoyed that I don't cover up around my son. He thinks he is too old for seeing me naked. I actually think it is a bit silly since my son does not care about it. So we are in a bit of disagreement there.

[deleted account]

You need to do what feels right for your family and no one else's. I think you need to respect all family members and if any one of them is uncomfortable, that needs to be addressed and respected. My husband and I asked ourselves the same question over the years and I couldn't answer why we should be so concerned if my husband or kids or myself walked down the hall naked on the way to the shower or laundry room. Our kids are 12 and 10 now and so far everyone's brief nudity at home is a non issue. I think it's healthy as long as there are no signs of discomfort.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/05/2015

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My mom always said "when they start being embarrassed by it." I think I trust her advice. My step dad came around at just under 2 years old... and my father threatened to call facs when he found out that bath time was actually a full familyevent. I was maybe 4. I remember it being kind of awkward when he started closing the door during his own bath. My younger sister and I used to play mom and dad and "help him wash his hair"... which was more like... creating devil horns or Mohawks with shampoo suds. It was a little heart breaking for all of us. The shame that had been forced on us by my mom doing as she was told wasn't fair. We eventually found other ways of bonding that didnt include "private time"... but finding out why it happened as an adult actually kind of made me angry. There was never anything inappropriate about anything my step dad ever did.

Dove - posted on 06/05/2015

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Now that I read responses I'm a little bothered by the first one. It is totally a person's right to feel how they want and do what they will in their own home, but AS a Christian woman and mother... I found that comment kind of insulting.

Dove - posted on 06/05/2015

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Before I read any responses... if either of you are uncomfortable then it is time to stop. If neither of you are uncomfortable... it really doesn't matter. You are family and it's just a body. My son is a bit younger as he's only 7, but nudity is a complete non issue for him around me and his older sisters (either him naked or us naked). Granted, his sisters sometimes want privacy... so they get it, but it really is no big deal.

Alexandra - posted on 06/05/2015

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Michelle Waldbillig - Thanks for your comment! That sounds healthy, and in a way I can't imagine why it would be harmful to not cover up and have a more natural view on nudity (unless there are religious beliefs behind it). The norm in most families and in our society is I think to hide our bodies. But perhaps like Richard Robert Pastars wrote, that could lead to more need for pornography.

Alexandra - posted on 06/05/2015

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Richard Robert Pastars - That sounds very logical and wise what you wrote. I think it is good to teach kids that nudity in itself is not equal sex, and that in many situations nudity can be perfectly natural, such as when getting dressed. If you cover up as soon as you are naked I can imagine it teaches them that the human body is something to be ashamed of. And then kids see that the places where nudity is ok is in pornography!

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2015

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I have 3 children (14, 11.5 & 5.5) 2 boys and a girl. I have always slept naked and if the children see me in the morning it doesn't matter. It's usually their choice to come in to my bedroom in the mornings on weekends and they know both myself and my husband are naked.
My boys are my older ones and they have known from a young age the difference between men and women. They also know about sex and what causes pregnancy and STI's.
Why should we hide our bodies away, it's how we were born and we should love the way we are.
I hardly ever close our bedroom door (only when we are having adult fun and don't want to be interrupted). The children are allowed in to our room, just as I can go in to their room.

Alexandra - posted on 06/05/2015

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Saijra Carter - May I ask why you don't want to get dressed in front of her?

Alexandra - posted on 06/05/2015

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MaryAnn Fawkes - Aha. So you don't think that I need to be more modest around him, or at what age do you think it is time?

Alexandra - posted on 06/05/2015

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~♥Little Miss Can't Be Wrong♥~ Thank you for your answer. That sound wise what you write. I think it is a good idea to show him you should not be ashamed of your own body, but also to teach him about privacy like you write. My son has not yet showed any signs of embarassment if he sees me naked, he just doesn't seem to care. Perhaps I should teach him more about privacy now.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/04/2015

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Following. Im pregnant with a boy. Already have a 3yo daughter. Grew up on a very open house of girls. To this day i hang out with my mom during her hour long dressing rituals when i visit. It recently came to my attention that naked time will some day soon come to an end. :(

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/04/2015

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Hey Alexandra. My son just turned 9. He understands to knock when my door is closed. He knows I want privacy. If my door is open and I am getting changed, he gets embarrassed and walks out quickly. I am trying to remember to close the door. Not for me, but for his sake. It is obvious he gets embarrassed. I personally don't care if he sees me naked. I want him to feel comfortable with his own body, so that means I need to be comfortable with mine. He knows that if his door is closed, that I will knock before entering. He is such a good boy. I want to respect his privacy and teach him to respect others.

Saijra - posted on 06/04/2015

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I'm 22 and have a 3 month old and it's very hard for me because of my past I personally don't get dressed in front of her at all ill breast feed her and keep a rag or something over my breast and when she gets older I'm going to teach her not to come in my room when it is shut and that she needs to close her door when she gets dressed as well

Alexandra - posted on 06/04/2015

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Thank you for your comment. I am not a Christian myself, but I appreciate to read about what other views there are on this subject.

Phyllis - posted on 06/04/2015

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honestly I am a Christian teaching my autistic child to follow the teachings of Christ and I dress in the restroom where my child doesn't see nakedness I want to set an example for her in appropriately manner that Christ would be pleased with I am in no way saying I am without sin but truly believe in Christ s words I will pray for you

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