when will be the right time to talk your child about sex

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Melissa - posted on 02/17/2009

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My daughter is 9 and has known pretty much all about sex since she was 6. It had to be done when she was caught kissing and whatnot with her best friend that happened to be a boy. So we bought a book appropriate for 6 year olds that explains everything. She now is under the impression that sex is not something you do unless you have finished college, have a nice house, a nice car and are married. We will see how long that lasts but it works for now!

Wendy - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hi Ana! I have an 11 1/2 year old (6th grader), that I recently had "the talk" with. I was quite nervous as I felt I was taking away her innocence but many of my friends had asked me if I would rather it be from me and told to her in a loving way, letting her know that sex is for someone special and is a sacred thing and that her body is her own and she should protect it and be ready. I wanted her to hear it from me rather than a bunch of 11 year old girls....who most likely have the wrong impression of sex and what it is all about. I wanted her to know that I was available to her to talk whenever she needed me and that we could have an open communication about the subject.



Hope that helps Ana!! Goodluck!

Stephanie - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hi,my daughter  is 9 and she has human body books they help as far as telling them different facts and helping them learn about their bodies,as far as the sex goes  I would have to say that it is sad,but kids are doing these things at young ages and I think when they start to ask questions is the best time to explain things to them.My kids are very open with asking questions about anything that they want to know,but I also know that all kids aren't like that! I wish you luck on haveing the talk...They have to know about it sum time and only you can truely make that choice.

Litanya - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hi Ana, I would say it depends on the maturity of your child. You need to monitor their behaviour and what type of friends they have. In this day and age, however I would say 12/13.

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Desiree - posted on 08/20/2011

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My daughter is almost 11 and we've been talking about sex, off an on for a couple of years now, although we haven't had the sit down birds and bee's type talk yet, but it will be coming soon as she is starting to go through puberty. I believe that being open and honest is best, that way when the "big" talk comes its not so uncomfortable for either of you. Honesty is best, you dont have to get graphic.

Paola - posted on 08/20/2011

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I would like to know what was the book that Melissa bought about the topic that is appropriate for 6 y old kids..

Julie - posted on 02/17/2009

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My 7yo daughter came home from school & said that some boys had been calling each other 'gay'. It seemed like the perfect time for 'the talk'. I think it's always a good idea to let them ask questions to be sure of their understanding. There are loads of age appropriate books out there so, have a look around & good luck!

Malinda - posted on 02/17/2009

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It also depends on what you mean by "talk about sex." There are age appropriate ways to discuss parts and sexuality at every developmental stage. I personally feel that this needs to be an ongoing discussion, not some grand single "talk" that parents have with children during puberty or when they're worried that their child might already know.

At 2-3, you can teach children what parts are called and that they belong only to them. Under what circumstances they can/should be touched and by who (the doctor, themselves, mommy and daddy if they need help cleaning or wiping, etc). Later you can get into non-detailed issues like "woman have babies, not men" and so forth.



I'm assuming you're talking about when to discuss relationships and when your child "should" or "can" have sex. Again, if there is a good foundation and understanding of how things work, what relationships are, and what is appropriate with regards to the opposite sex, this conversation can be ongoing and get more specific as your child gets older and shows desire/ability to understand more. Much of this will be lead by your child. For me, the bottom line is that I want to be the one offering the education, not my child's peers, and that sort of peer to peer discussion begins much earlier than we expect (like, say, 5th grade in some cases).

Yolanda - posted on 02/17/2009

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My husband told my son about sex in fifth grade. We wanted him to be prepared for junior high and what might be said about sex there. My daughter is in second grade now and I think I'll be having the talk with her when she's in fourth or fifth depending on her maturity level. I think it all depends on the child, but they get a sex ed movie in fifth grade so you might  want to consider telling your child about sex before they see the movie. That way you'll have your input in the matter and then revisit the subject after the movie is shown.

Ana - posted on 02/17/2009

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Thank you for all your help, this information will help me to be strong to talk to her about sex…

Thank you!!!!!!!

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