When you are out in public and someone makes a rude comment about the # of children you have, how should you reply to it?


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Denikka - posted on 07/31/2013




I'm going to be 24 in about a month and a half and I have 3 kids.
I get a lot of those *young mom* (first at 19) and *too many kids* comments.

Really, the comments don't bother me too much. When someone says I must have my hands full, I usually reply with a smile and *Yup, they keep me on my toes. But it makes life interesting*
When I get comments from strangers about having 3 (or even when I had 2), I usually respond with a Pringles comment (once you pop, you can't stop or some variation of that :P).
When people comment on me being a young mom, I'll tell them that *Yea, but that means I get to be a young, awesome gramma too. And I'll have more than half my life left when my kids move out of the house (I'll only be 42/43 when my youngest graduates) so I get to have my *teen* years when it's legal AND I can afford it :P

It was always the looks that got to me and ticked me off. Especially from middle age women. Just those looks of total disgust. It was frustrating more because I couldn't go over and say something about it.

Ev - posted on 07/31/2013




I figure that it is okay for someone to have several kids if they can take care of them and I do not mean money wise for the biggest reason. And if someone wants only one, that is fine too. I have two but they are seven years apart so its like having two families instead of one.

Margaret - posted on 07/31/2013




Maybe I should try to remember that, as I love my 9 children and that those people will end up alone when they are older

[deleted account]

It depends on the comment.
I have only one child and often get comments about how he will grow up to be selfish or spoiled, or that I am being selfish because when my husband and I are gone he'll be all alone. Or the famous "What if something happens to him?" As having a "spare" kid would make everything okay :P

My cousin, on the other hand, has 6 children. People are not quite a blatant with her as they are with me, but she gets comments like, "You know where they come from, right?" and "Wow, your sex life must be great!" which, for her is just a little too personal for comfortable conversation with people she meets in public. Then there are the "sympathy" comments, like "You must have your hands full!" which get on her nerves because she doesn't need sympathy unless they are going to help her with something.

Mostly, my cousin just shrugs it off because people are usually not actually TRYING to be mean, they're just trying to be supportive or make conversation and end up with their feet in their mouth.
In my case, they are actually TRYING to be mean, to make me question or feel bad about my decisions. When they point out that he will be spoiled or selfish, I point out that we are very adamant about setting boundaries, as well as teaching him the value of things and how to share them.
When they point out that he'll be lonely, I tell them about all of the social programs we use to ensure that he is building meaningful relationships with others. If I'm feeling snarky, I might point out that he's actually lucky because not only does he get to pick and choose his "siblings" or closest friends, but he isn't forced to spend all of his free time with them and gets plenty of time to himself to explore his own thoughts and interests without being bothered by other kids.
Sometimes I point out how many things he gets to do, and places he gets to visit because they are too expensive for most families with multiple kids to do regularly, but that verges on mean, so I don't say that often.

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