Susan - posted on 03/18/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )
For most of my adult life I was a very happy individual. I had a great husband, a healthy, beautiful child, alot of friends, my health, a nice comfortable home, a great family and a wonderful church home. Life was good! Eighteen years ago, life dealt me a blow. My husband divorced me, (he found someone he liked better), we had also moved to a new area where I was trying to make friends, so that made it even more difficult. I moved back to my hometown and found a full time job. I was lousy at it, but it paid the bills. Over time, I made new friends and connected with old friends. Then around 2005, I started getting sick. Drs could not find anything wrong with me. I saw 33 drs and spent thousands of dollars before I got a diagnosis. I had to quit my job, move in with my elderly dad, eventually becoming his full time care giver. Today, I find myself broke and broken. I cannot work. I have two debiltating diseases along with chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I no longer have a life. i try to call friends, but they are slowly pulling away. In the beginning I had a great support system, but not anymore. I don't know what to do. I never dreamed my life would turn out this way. Oh, yes, I also lost a boyfriend during all of this too. I get very lonely. My father has dementia and can't communicate with me well. I have a strained relationship with my daughter, and my brother who I am close to, lives 11 hrs away. I keep hoping I will wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream.
At times the emotional pain is more difficult than the physical pain.
I really miss my friends right now. Some of them I have known for 20-40 years, and we have been good friends. I always thought they would be there in good times and bad. And now, during the most difficult, challenging time in my life they are not there. I am going through it all alone. And it is so very, very hard.