Whinging 5yr syndrome!!! Plz help

Natalie - posted on 04/25/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Yes everyone has there bad days but this is getting beyond a joke! Our 5yr old from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed constantly whingies and starting to drive us crazy! It is worse when she doesn't get her way and will continually whinge until she gets her way! Yes I give in as its the only way to stop her I will put her to her room n she will continually cry and whinge while trashing her room. I will try to talk to her about but she will just yell and scream at me. I could handle it if the tantrums would last say 10-15mins (preferably not that long) but they don't they will go for hours until she gets her way! Even if I let her out of the room! She doesn't like sharing but everyone has to share with her and if not she starts its pretty much her way or the highway! We praise her when she does things that are good and let her know that is not nice and upsetting when she acts the way she does but doesn't care! If we are doing something that she is sick of she will start and only stop when she gets her way which therefore our 3yr old misses out on what's she is doing! If anyone has any advice on ways to try and stop her plz let me know.

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Unfortunately, you've conditioned her to use the longer tantrums by giving in after she's been at it for a while. Now she knows if she doesn't give up, no matter how long it takes, you'll give in and she'll get her way.

At your house, put her in a safe spot and let her tantrum until she's got it ALL out. DO NOT GIVE IN. Tell her that she can go into her room to get her anger out, and she is free to come out when she is ready to cooperate. If she destroys the room, throw out or donate to charity everything she pulls out of place. Make sure you have it out of the house that very day so that you are not tempted to give it back to her.

Does she get allowance? She should be earning a few dollars each week. If she wants a new toy, or to replace a toy she lost, tell her to use her own money. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want the toy that badly. She will pitch a fit, but don't give in.

If she is refusing to share, remove her from the situation. Tell her "You can continue to play if you share, but if you do not share, you will be alone." End of story, take her away from her friends.

Continue to praise her for the good behavior, but you don't need to lecture her on the bad, just let her experience the consequences of that behavior. It will take a few weeks of her tantruming to pure exhaustion, but after she sees that you are not going to give in any more, the tantrums will get shorter. Unfortunately, they are an expression of emotion, you can never eliminate them completely, but you can teach her how to deal with those emotions positively.

Once you get to that stage, where she is not waiting for you to give in, you can introduce a calming glass. It's a jar filled with water and glitter. When she's upset, let her shake it as much as she likes, then watch the glitter settle. I learned about this through a comment on this sight, and used it with J. It works wonderfully for diffusing anger.

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Natalie - posted on 04/27/2013

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Thnx I will try everything u have said and I have used the calm down jar as I have one just worried she will break it :/ but thnx for the advice :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/26/2013

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I cannot express it any more eloquently than Kelly!

Well stated, Kelly!

Natalie, this is going to be a long haul, but you need to stick to your guns and get your daughter back on track

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