who should my husband call first for situations?

Dominique - posted on 10/18/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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ok im having an issue where my husband is contacting his mom for like if he is in the hospital and if he has a flat tire, ect... he is a married man and still puts his mom as an emergency contact instead of me. Is he suppose to contact me first and put me as an emergency contact or his mom? We do not live with her and anytime she is contacted for stuff like this she gets the impression my little boy still needs me even though he is 22 years old and grown up. also it gives her the impression that she can meddle. So i was wondering if he was suppose to put me down or his mom as an emergency contact.

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Dominique - posted on 10/19/2012

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Yeah i put him down first for everything for an emergency contact and then my mom for an altervative to the emergency contact. I know how relationships and marriages are suppose to be. His mom filled out the paper work at the hospital for him and i guess she is having trouble letting go because he is her youngest son and is afraid of losing him or something to the sort. she has control issues and wants him to depend on her for everything. He never goes to her because she is controlling and manipulative. he always asks his dad which is ok because he is not that way at all. his dad is easy going and easy to get along with. Sometimes i wonder if his mom will ever get that he is a married man and not her little boy anymore and if either of us stand up to her she keeps getting worse. The more we stand up to her the more she treats us as children and we have 2 kids and im going to be 20 next month and my husband is 22.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2012

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He just doesn't get it yet. He has relied on his mother for everything his whole life, and sometimes it is difficult for men to switch gears. You certainly don't want to be viewed as a mother type to him...but a wife and an equal partner in your relationship which calls for respecting one another. This means being the first contact in any emergency situation so you are made aware of his health and other such things. His mother of course should be contacted if he is in the hospital, after all it is her son, but really his wife and mother of his children should be at the top of the list. That is just my opinion though. No offense, but he is obviously quite immature in how relationships should be structured.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2012

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Yeah you should be the contact person, but often times it is hard for young men to let go....same for the moms. He SHOULD be putting you down. It may be time to sit down and talk about the structure of your marriage, and how his family comes first....meaning you and any children you have.

Dominique - posted on 10/19/2012

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I have and he still does it im last to be contacted on everything. like one day he ended up in the hospital his mom was contacted first then she went to the hospital and i wasnt contacted til 30 minutes later. i was PISSED.

Dominique - posted on 10/19/2012

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Michelle,

I have tried talking to him about it and he is like whats the big deal. Does it matter? I told him your married now i should be the one to be contacted first but he does not care and i do.

Michelle - posted on 10/18/2012

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I always put my husband down as the next of kin/first contact and my Mum gets put down for the contact if my husband can't be contacted.



As your husband, yes you should be the next of kin/first contact. Have you spoken to him about it? Maybe he is just in the habbit of putting his Mum down.

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