Who to save in an accident? Spouse or Child

Suzanne - posted on 09/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




I have been dating a man for a year and we are considering marriage. We both have kids age 18 above from our previous marriage. One day he asked if he and my son have an accident and I can save only one, who would I save. I believe in Bible teaching that the order of love is God, Spouse and Kids. Without hesitation I said spouse and I believe if my spouse loves me he would ask me to save my son first. When the question was put to him I was shocked that he said he would save his son first without considering what I have just said. Naturally I felt unloved and he said his action has nothing to do with loving me less. He loves both but felt child's need is before parent. I am totally confused now about his love for me because I still believe in perfect love I should put my spouse over my child and he will love me back by putting my child before himself. The final answer is still that the child is saved but mine is without sacrificing him to save my son and his is sacrificing me to save his son. Does that mean he loves me less?


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Jodi - posted on 09/01/2012




I would absolutely save the kids before my spouse. As much as I love my spouse, my children are only just embarking on all life has to offer them, whereas my spouse and myself, we have HAD those experiences. I think you are overthinking this.

Lacye - posted on 09/01/2012




I can always get remarried if something should ever happen to my husband, but I can't bring my child (who is a part of me) back to life. My daughter and this new child I'm carrying is the flesh of my flesh and I have told my husband before that while I do love him dearly, my children will always come before any man and that includes him.

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2012




I agree with your husband and the other ladies. The way I see it is the children still have have plenty of life to live. Since we are older it makes sense to to give our children the opportunity to live a long life.

I don't think I could ever live with the pain of losing a child. That would be the worse feeling in the world.

ETA: I love my husband more than anything and I would find it hard to go on without him. Just because I would chose to save the children first doesn't mean I love him any less.

Amy - posted on 09/01/2012




I would save my kids before my husband, the other women gave the same reasons I would have put.

Corinne - posted on 09/01/2012




I think your husband is right, I would also save my child first. Kimberly is right too, it is our job as parents to protect our children. I would take my children first and go back for my husband. It doesn't mean I love him less or that I value him less, it's just that I believe my duty is to the small people I brought into this world, before anyone else.

Kimberly - posted on 09/01/2012




I would have to say I would never want to be put in a situation where I had to choose but if it had to be I would save my child over my partner. Dont get me wrong I love my husband dearly and never want to lose him but my child is my blood and there is nothing that could ever make me stop loving her. I feel it is my job as a mother to protect and love my child above all else, this doesnt mean I love my husband anyless, I would exspect him to do the same thing if he was asked. As hard as it would be I could live with losing my husband, I couldnt live with losing my child. But I can assure you if I was ever really put in this situation I would try my dam hardest to save them both as they are my life and love

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