"Whoa STOP the Overload!!!" Stressed, broke & adoption..

Heather - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )




I am a 23 yr old mother of three children. Twins girls are 2 yrs old, and my son is 3 yrs old. I currently live on afdc because of the lack of jobs in my area. I get $708 to live off of each month only because I am pregnant. (7 1/2 month along) I have had to make a decision that will alter my life forever. My significant other and myself have decided to give this baby Im carrying up for adoption. I feel like because Im broke and have no more room in my home, I can not afford to keep her. I have met with the adopting family and they are really loving, kind people. Im excited for them but at the same time I cant help but hate them because they have everything I need and more to keep my family strong and together. I cry every night wondering if Im making the right choice. Bills and 3 toddlers are really getting to me. I need to know how I go about letting my fionce know I need time for myself sometimes and maybe some suggestions on how to cope with the anxiety of it all being pregnant.

thanks moms



Claire - posted on 06/17/2010




I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I have two kids. My mom was adopted before open adoptions existed. Years of Mom searching were futile. In the early 1990's her biological family found her, revealing three FULL siblings.
If you do go through with the adoption, please do an open one so your baby can know that you (and his/her siblings) are still here and love him/her. Write a letter now explaining all of your thought process and decisions so he/she will know just how much you love and want the best for the whole family.

Whatever you decide, remember we are all here for you.

Sharon - posted on 06/17/2010




Write it out. Read it, make corrections, explanations and when you are ok with it, give him the letter.

I'm sorry your life is so hard right now, I hope things turn around for you soon.

[deleted account]

I'm tearing up reading this as i have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old and am also 23 and due in 3ish weeks ( could be due to hormones). I don't think i can help much but i feel for you. The only advice i can give is one night when the kids are in bed sit your fiance down and talk to him and i mean really talk tell him whats going on and why you are agonising over this decision and why you need some time for you.If things get to bad talk to your Dr. You are a strong woman for Adopting your baby. And if it truly is the right decision then focus on how the adoptive family is going to be when it happens! :)

Dana - posted on 06/16/2010




I can't really give you advice as I have never been there, but do want to tell you that I can only imagine how hard it would be, but know that you are doing the right thing. Think about how much you are going to be giving this child. It's a wonderful thing.

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Dawn - posted on 08/28/2013




I'm not a Mom but I am desperate to be one. Like you , money is a factor and I can't afford the expensive adoption process, and I feel bitterness and resentment for those who can give birth to a child when I can't. It seems we are on opposite ends of the same spectrum. I commend you for being strong enough to make the tough decisions you are having to make. Blessings and strength to you during this process


[deleted account]

Don't forget the adoption triade is full of grief. The same pain as the pain of someone dying and the anger is part of it. But remeber (I'm an adoptive Mom) we will Love your child. We recognize your sacrifice and that you are doing what is best for your child right now.

As a Mom I thank you for giving a woman like me who could have no child a child to love and cherish. My world was devastated and no amount of stuff could fill that hole of "no children" in my life. Thank you for what you are doing.

[deleted account]

do you live in an expensive state? what do you feel you need to keep the baby.. i feel for you it breaks my heart that you are having a hard time esp with giving your baby up for adoption.. but i will say that you and the baby are a wonderful gift to that family.. God Bless

Lyndsay - posted on 06/17/2010




Wow, first of all I really want to commend you for making such a difficult decision. Try to keep it in your mind that you are doing the right thing. You are offering your unborn child a better life than you can provide, and by doing so you are going to be able to maintain a proper existence for the children in your care. If you keep the adoption open you will be able to visit the baby as well.

I understand your frustration and resentment, but try to be strong. You are doing something very very hard, but in the end its for the best.

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