Whose Last Name Should I Use?

Blanca - posted on 02/25/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Is it ok for my baby to use his fathers name even if im not married to him?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/27/2014

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I personally would use my own. If I am not married, why should I give the baby the fathers last name? It is really personal preference, and most men will throw a fucking fit if you don't use their last name. Don't be bullied. Do what you feel is right.

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Lisa - posted on 03/12/2014

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Personally I believe a child's surname represents their lineage. The name speaks of the child's own relationship with their ancestors, not the current status of the mother and father's relationship.

Having said that, the significance of the surname differs from culture to culture. In some, the surname you use depends on the gender of the baby. Historically in some cultures the paternal surname denoted the father / husband's right of ownership to all assets that might otherwise have been held by women or children. That has changed! But in many modern versions the father bestows their name on the child through marriage.

My own opinion is that I think the act of creating a child means both names are on the table. So whether you choose the maternal or paternal name is up to you as parents or as mother or father if one is absent. The main thing to take into account is what would be best for the child now and as they grow into adults.

Best of luck with your decision and the birth of your lovely bubba.

Loretta - posted on 03/04/2014

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Our neighbor has 3 babies with 3 different fathers. It drives the school crazy with the confusion. She does it to try to get the man to marry her.

Loretta - posted on 03/04/2014

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More times than not, an unattached father falls out of the picture. If you marry someone else, you do not want a name hanging around when he didn't.

Loretta - posted on 03/04/2014

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No. Trust me from experience. Unless you are married, the baby gets your last name. For insurance, school, and social.

Andraeakrum - posted on 02/28/2014

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you can choose either his last name or yours. my son has daddy's last name because i plan to marry him in a few years so i want my son to have that last name. :]

Sasha N - posted on 02/28/2014

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My son has his dad's last name and we aren't together at all, we weren't when he was born either, but his father is in his life. I think it's a personal preference though.

Merlinda - posted on 02/28/2014

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I would use the fathers just so he can have something from his dad whether the dad is going to be involved in the parenting or not.

Laura - posted on 02/27/2014

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Generally you can use any name you choose for your baby. If you look at a birth certificate you will see a place for the child's name (John James last-name-of-your-choice), a place for the mother's BIRTH name (Sarah Jane Smith) and a place for the father's name (Adam Ant Jones)...there is no box to check if the parents are married or not.
I do encourage you to think carefully when deciding the last name for your baby. Is the father planning to be involved in the baby's life for life and support him, or do you think he may move on and be more trouble than he's worth? The father is obligated to pay child support regardless of marital status. Good luck and keep us posted!

Kimberly - posted on 02/26/2014

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Relax, something like 48% of first babies, and 41 % of all babies born each year in America are born to unmarried females (including my three, but thankfully not my daughters---so far). In most states, probably all, the mother can give the child any name they choose, like George Bush Jr, or Barack Obama, Jr. Also, if you're in a paternity action, the state can arrange to change the kids last name to that of the father when the DNA test confirms him as the father, but you can even do it without the paternity action. .

By all means I would if the father is OK with it.

My three are half siblings and all have their fathers name on the birth certificate.

I hope this helps you in some way

[deleted account]

Sure it is. If you would like your baby to have his dads last name you can give it to him. You just put it on his birth certificate.

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