Why are some moms so competitive and judgmental?

Sandra - posted on 04/29/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Now that I'm a new mom, I'm quickly realizing that many moms are so quick to judge other moms. Sometimes the competition can get intense. What are your thoughts on why women act this way?

13 Comments

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Cindy - posted on 03/09/2013

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Some of the women in our mommy & me class are so rude to me & yell at my son cause he Plays rough, I try to watch him every second & I'm really working with him, but why r some moms make you feel so ashamed & afraid to leave the house

Hope - posted on 05/01/2009

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Holy crap some of these post hit home to what I've been concerned about glad I came across this post cause I'm a big worry wart I admit it to my friends I worry way too much. Which I shouldn't. The answers helped some.

Lee-Anne - posted on 04/30/2009

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yes i agree that our mums and dads and auntys have had big familys but now day there arnt many people haveing more than 6-7 children when i tell every body that i want 10-12 children they do judge me im only 29 and i allready have 7 its not like it was 30 years ago when you wernt judged for have heaps of children every body thought it was normal but now its not that normal if u understand what im saying

[deleted account]

First of all, congratulations on the new baby!! For me personally, I didn't ever feel like I was being judged. I think it might be because I live in a small town where I have known a lot of these people for many years. I also think that because I was older when I started out (36 when my son was born), people tend to look at me and just assume that I must know what I'm doing. But no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and if you are feeling judgemental eyes from strangers, just let them be. They don't know you so their judgements mean nothing. Now, if it's from your friends or family, then it's something you need to address with them. Hopefully your friends and family love you enough to give you praise, support and maybe advice instead of judgements.

[deleted account]

Quoting Lee-Anne:

 im from australia and big famalys are uncommon and people are allways judging me for it but some mothers dont know how i do it 



I'm from Australia, and I don't think big families are uncommon...my stepmum is one of 10, my dad is one of 6, my mother in law is one of 15 or 16 I acnt remember which one...i'm one of 10..now 8 sadly 2 passed away. Most of my auntys and uncles have 3 or more children, and most of my friends have 5 siblings...myself...i want 6 :)



Yeh you will get the judgemental and competitive people but you also get the lovely ones! I think that women act this way because they are biased and always think that their child is better :)

Dana - posted on 04/30/2009

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Moms like that bother me too. I try my best not to be that way though. I don't want my children to grow up competing with other children or seeing me trying to make us look better than someone else. They are each special and we are who we are.

Mel - posted on 04/30/2009

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id be all for it but i thought about the whole having to get a big car to fit all the kids in if we had more then 3, and having to get a house with a good amount of bedrooms. my partner is an electrician and wants me to be a stay at home mum if i want to go back to work (i havent been to work since my daughter was 7 months) he wants me to only go part time. so i guess we'll see what the future holds. by having kids at 18 i always wanted to let them grow up a little then think about having another child but i guess its prob just wishful thinking lol

Lee-Anne - posted on 04/30/2009

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a big family is hard work but if u want one i say go for it im gonna have more as soon as i can get a farm and dont listen to what any one else thinks its what u think that matters

Mel - posted on 04/30/2009

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your right big families are uncommon here! i very much want a big family i just know that it would be too hard financially ive only got one so far but i want 3 and trust me it took alot of convincing to get my partner to agree to 3 kids! i always wanted to do fostering but another thing he wont agree to.

Lee-Anne - posted on 04/30/2009

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i have 7 kids and everyones allways quick to judge me im from australia and big famalys are uncommon and people are allways judging me for it but some mothers dont know how i do it and i just think that if they have a problem with it then thats there problem and im not gonna lose any sleep over it.and being a new mum most mother allways thinks they are better than others and some like to offer advice and some times that advice sonds like them being jugemental.i hope all gose well with the new one and dont forget to get time for youself it dose help

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2009

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As the mother of 4, I am a control freak, and I will admit, that it is my way, because it is the right way. I am also a critical care nurse. I can tell you that I have an issue with being judgmental at times. Some of the advice/ suggestions that I read on the Circle of Mom's blow me out of the water. And you have to remember, that we are women. This is in our nature to be the nurturing protective female.

Mel - posted on 04/29/2009

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congrats! Im mum to a 12 month old little girl. i honestly think people do it because they want the attention. i try my hardest to be an unjudgemental person but you can just feel others judging you. i walk around the shops with a child that looks a lot younger then what she is people comment how little she is and you just know they are thinking "shes abyoung mum i bet she doesnt feed her properly". we're the most devoted parents yet people sometimes think we are not. all i can say is if people dont respect your views and opinions they are not worth it. Jst ignore them!

Teresa - posted on 04/29/2009

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Congrats on being a new mom! I am an "old" mom. I have an 11 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. I know some moms who are very competitive and I don't know why they feel the need to be. Each child is special and unique in their own way.

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