Why are teen moms looked down on?

Brittany - posted on 03/09/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm a 17 year old mom. I got pregnant with my son at 15, and had him at 16. I consider myself a great mom. I do everything for him and he's my life. But every since I had him I've been judged and ridiculed by people, including my own family. They've told me that I should have put my son up for adoption, but he has changed my life in so many ways. I just don't understand WHY teen moms get so much hate! Especially when we do everything we can to take care of our kid! I get called a child and etc. But a ''child'' doesn't go to work everyday to support themselves and their kid, pay rent, buy gas, and take care of themselves completely. I do. I've been taking care of myself since I was 13. I've done just fine. I just wish people would understand that teens are capable of being great moms and supporting their kid. There are 20/30 something year old's that don't take care of their kids. Why are ''teen mom's'' bashed the most? You can be 14, 15, 16, 17 and be a better mom than any adult!

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Maria Eugenia - posted on 03/09/2015

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Damn right, I have met a lot of moms lately. I just had my baby, she was born at 7 months and is at the ICU, so i have interacted with sooo many moms of so many different age ranges and like you say, age has nothing to do with being a good mom or a bad mom. Of course I have seen cases where 16 year olds arent ready to have children and they themselves act childish and neglect their children, thus reinforcing all the negative stereotypes, but i have also met 30 something moms who completely neglect their babies and dont visit them for weeks at a time (imagine what theyll be like when their babies get home!) But you, being brave enough to keep him, and strong enough to support yourself and him are slowly but surely ending those preconceived notions. Dont pay attention to your family, just keep working and show them what an amazing mom you are!

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Brittany - posted on 03/10/2015

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Raye, no to answer your question it may not have been ''smart'' but it felt right at the time. When I found out I was pregnant at 15, I felt more like a woman and less like a kid, because being pregnant is apart of womanhood. Being a mother is a ''woman'' role. Now I realize that there's much more to being a woman than being able to have a baby.

On another note, I do know lots of teen moms that are irresponsible and don't take it seriously, but that's because they haven't grown up yet and don't want to accept their responsibilities. I'm not saying I was an adult at 15, but I was mature and was practically on my own, looking out for myself. I don't feel like I'm missing out on much. I'd rather be at home playing with my son than galavanting around the streets and partying.

Raye - posted on 03/10/2015

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Brittany, let me ask you.... looking back on when you got pregnant, do you feel it was a smart thing to do? Do you feel you were prepared to have an innocent baby rely solely on you? Do you feel a little sad that you have to work to support your child instead of enjoying your teen years without that responsibility? Write these questions down and look at them again in 5-10 years and see if you come up with different answers.

You are right, that there are a lot of different personality styles that mothers can have, but your statement: "You can be 14, 15, 16, 17 and be a better mom than any adult!" is untrue. You can be a teen mom and be better than SOME adults, but not better than ANY adult. Yes, one teen mom may be very responsible, and a 30-something mom act like a childish brat. But you have a better chance at providing a stable home for your child if you are older and have more education and experience to draw from. It's not that teen moms are "hated". It's just that we know they have made their lives so much more difficult by having a child so young. Generally speaking, many teen moms aren't done growing up yet. They are not able to adequately handle the multitude of challenges they face as a mom, and it's the kids that end up suffering.

If you are doing well, then that's fantastic. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your child, and doing the right thing. But just know that you are in the minority for your age group.

Brittany - posted on 03/09/2015

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I agree Maria. People put us teen moms down so much, and it's sad to me that so called ''adults'' think that just because a person is young that they are incapable and inadequate of taking care of a kid! It's not easy for anyone, but life doesn't have to end just because you get pregnant young. Thank you!

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