Why are we so hung up on Gender Identity?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I simply don't understand why we are so preoccupied with gender identity. Boys and girls, men and women, are fundamentally and biologically different. Just why is it that we are so ashamed of that and don't want our children to "over" identify with their gender? And it isn't just girls and women being put upon, when was the last time you saw a parent of a little boy be happy that he wants to play with dolls or likes the color pink? I honestly believe we are putting way too much emphasis on children's early choices that are most likely not a forecast of the future. I loved girly toys as a child, the result? I was an honor student, athlete, and received a college degree in Marine Science, using it to work in a predominantly male field for over 6 years. I also got the chance to be a Stay at Home Mom with my 2 girls, and I don't care what they choose to play with, I only care that they are healthy and happy. Neither girls or boys are better, they are just different, and I don't see anything wrong with celebrating those differences. If you aren't happy with the stereotypes that society forces on genders, don't watch TV or read magazines, that's all I can suggest. Ladies and Gentlemen you are beautiful for what you are, embrace it.

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Ariana - posted on 01/10/2013

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Really? I must have misunderstood than. I think kids should be whoever they want to be, whether it's a girl or boy. I mean my kids a boy and he's all into spiderman and construction workers and stuff, but he'll talk about how I'm a princess and give a baby a bottle if he's at his friends house. I wouldn't push him to do boy or girl things he should just do what he wants (in terms of boy/girlish activities I mean of course). He's definitely all boy though... Spiderman and pirates and all....

Holly - posted on 01/10/2013

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ariana, she said people pay too much attention to it, not that she wouldn't be happy, if a girl picked up a G I Joe that's fine, but so many people are PUSHING girls to be tomboyish or PUSHING them to be girly, i think what she was saying one way or the other it should be up to the children themselves

Ariana - posted on 01/10/2013

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The reason people are so hung up is that there is a lot of pressure and bullying towards the people/children who do not conform to their 'gender identity'. A boy who plays with pink gets made fun of, a girl who's to competitive or loud gets called a 'dyke' or treated like she isn't girly enough.

You say you don't care what your 2 girls play with, but that you think if you aren't happy with the stereotypes society forces on genders don't watch it, that seems a bit contradicatory. I mean what if you had a boy who loved playing with dolls and wear pink every day? Is that different then allowing a girl to play with trucks in the dirt? If you allow him/her to do so isn't that veering away from the gender stereotypes our society pushes?

I think that in general MOST boys act a certain way and MOST girls act a certain way and the majority of kids are somewhere on the scale. There may be boys/girls who are in the middle who are sensitive but love sports, a girl that's competitive and loud but loves playing with dolls. It's the kids who veer off to the more outskirts of the spectrum that suffer the most due to gender stereotypes.

I personally believe that we should be proud to be a man or a woman but that our ideas of what a man or woman SHOULD be is where the problem lies. Why are women supposed to be all friendly non-competitive and 'nice' all the time? Why is it 'girly' to be sensitive? How does playing with the colour pink make a boy less of a boy? I mean it's a colour for pete sake!

You know originally boys were wrapped in pink blankets and girls in blue blankets when they were born instead of the way they are now? Pink was thought to be a bold manly colour and blue a soft feminine colour. Now it's the opposite (supposedly). Who gave girls the colour pink anyway? I'm just saying our expectations of what a man or woman is supposed to be is sometimes flawed, people should be proud of who they are as a person not because they have a vagina or a penis.

Amanda - posted on 02/01/2012

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I dont understand this new trend also. I am proud to be a woman hear me roar :0) I raise my girls to be proud strong woman too. I also raise my son to be the man he wants to be, hes sensative, but still very much a mans, man. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the gender you are, or even living up to some of those stereotypes.

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