Why can't Bio Mom accept help offered by Step Mom and Dad?

L - posted on 08/22/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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So frustrated with BM, I can't see straight, need opinions and advice. I am a SM to a SD that I truly believe is the best kid in the world. (Don't we all think that about our kids. Lol) I never knew I could love a child the way I love her. I am thankful everyday that her Dad come into my life because I truly believe I got one of the best 2 for 1 deals a girl could ever ask for!

We are on a 50/50 week on/ week off schedule, unfortunately the lifestyles at the two houses are very different and SD must live two completely different lifestyles one week to another. My SD is 9 and is becoming very aware. BM has to work a full time job and I understand that her job is important and she has to work. I know that being a single mom is not easy and I respect single moms. I understand one of the major obstacles being a single mom is time management and having enough time for dinner, homework, sports, etc.

That being said, we (husband and I) have offered for the last two years to pick my SD up from school and BM could pick her up from our house after work. This arrangement would save BM money as she no longer would have to pay after school care and all homework could be done and the two of them could spend time together in the evenings without being rushed.

We have offered the same thing for school holidays, summer break, etc, let SD stay with us while BM is at work. Instead of taking the offer, BM gets angry and states it is "her time" and when would she get that time back from us? Instead of taking us up on the offer, she drives SD to a relatives houses 45 minutes away at 6:00 in morning, when we live only 10 minutes away.

Call me crazy, but I don't understand the difference between SD being with us when BM is at work and being somewhere with a babysitter. BM doesn't ask for time back from a babysitter so ask for it back from us?

Please help me understand, we really are just trying to help and make things easier for both of them. SD has asked BM if she can come here when BM works, BM tells her no it is her time. SD asked me how it is BM's time when she is at work and not with her. Absolutely breaks my heart!

Thanks for any input!

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