Why do I get so angry at my 6 year old son

Aisha - posted on 07/11/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Need advise on how to control my reactions to my son's behaviour


Jacqueline - posted on 07/12/2014




I know what you’re going through, and you're only human, so I understand your request and the desperation stored inside the depths of it. But, I will also explain something else.

You don't need to control your reactions if you have full control over your child and his rudeness. There are three steps towards having friendly commandment with your child.

1. Bond with your child. Bonding with your child means he's going to see you as a friend. Tell me, if your sons friend asked him if he can do something appropriate in a polite manner, would he do it? And I'm sure that you will find your answer for me is: yes. That's why you must bond with him. Go on outings with him and only him, do projects and other things at home with him only him, and have your own little traditions and special treatment

2. Treat your child as an equal. Talk to him like he's your husband. Seriously! Except for the casual swear words, the bored tone and the things that you don't want to tell him, talk to him as if he's your husband. Never spank him, shout at him, remind him of his youth compared to you or of your power to control him. He is your friend, your equal, and you must talk to him about the reason why you are doing something.

3. Be positive. Make him feel good all the time. Always tell him you love him even when you’re in a bad mood, and never fight with anyone around him, especially not your husband. Always compliment him and hug him, and have lots of long, deep chats with him to make him feel supported. He may not know it now, but if all that was taken away from him, he would miss it A LOT.

If these things are done in spite of your personal factors such as bad moods and limited self control for some of his rude moments, then you are doing well and will not have to react to many rude moments.

But when you DO have to react, do not react angrily. Little kids just get bored of it and think “Oh here we go again.” But, if you react kind of tragically, you know, shocked, quiet, betrayed, then he will undoubtedly feel guilty and secretly apologetic. No, there is no guarantee that he will apologize to you, and don’t ask him to. But once the embarrassment of the disagreement had had with you has subsided, he will behave the way you want him to.

Good luck, you receive my best wishes, Jaqu.

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