Why do men try to sleep with their exes?

Leela - posted on 04/21/2014 ( 13 moms have responded )

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So I'm a single mom with a 10 year old trying to coparent. My ex is happily involved with someone else. We ended years ago. But he constantly tries to have sex with me. I know I'm not the only one facing this. Why do these men do these things???

13 Comments

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Anna - posted on 04/22/2014

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@Jodi - I know not all men make poor sexual choices nor are men in general worse than women when it comes to infidelity. I do suspect that perceived easiness is a possible motivating factor when pursuing an ex and I should rephrase my wording to say "of the men pursuing casual sex with an ex, MANY are likely driven by the perception that it is low hanging fruit." Men AND women do this but the question was about men. Just so you know, I am an advocate (in the minority) for father's rights so I'm not about bashing males as a population or lumping all men into one bucket.

Leela - posted on 04/22/2014

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At the beginning (when I was pregnant btw!!!) he ended things. At that point I wanted him back just because I wanted that perfect family in my mind - you know, 2 parents living together and raising their child. Fast forward a couple of years and I am happy with who I am. I just wish he would understand that I have changed and that part of our life is over. It's hard being around his past gfs knowing that when their back is turned he's making moves on me. I have talked to him and been very clear about things. Sometimes I think he likes the challenge. God alone knows what he thinks.

Jodi - posted on 04/22/2014

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And just for the record, while we are on the topic of men and them getting sex wherever they can get it, believe it or not, men and women have the SAME rate of infidelity (57% of men have cheated on a partner, 54% of women have), so men and women are just as bad as each other.

Jodi - posted on 04/22/2014

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And another low opinion of men. I'm sorry, I totally disagree that most men will engage in sex wherever they can get it. Most men have more respect for women, and themselves, than that. Sorry,. but I really hate the way men get lumped into this category of animal.

Anna - posted on 04/22/2014

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Most men will engage in sex wherever they can get it and they (often mistakenly) believe it will be easiest to have sex with an ex. Also, if you left him and he still has unresolved issues from that, he may want to have sex with you to "reverse" the feeling of rejection he had when you broke up with him....which is a very weak, sad state to be in. Men in such a state definitely need to be seeing a counselor about their self-respect issues.

Jodi - posted on 04/22/2014

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I've never had it happen to me (and my ex is still a moron), and my husband's exes never had it happen to them. Maybe your ex is just not really as happy as he seems, and he sees you happy and kind of has some regrets? Who knows.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/22/2014

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Leela, did you break it off, or did he?

My ex had some idea that if I'd just sleep with him one more time I'd take him back...LOL...NOT! Not to mention that my HUSBAND was pretty pissed at him even thinking it was an option...

Leela - posted on 04/22/2014

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Lol Jodi, that's why I'm throwing it out there. Dove I agree! It's a pretty uncomfortable situation and gets tense at times when I say no. I've wondered in the past if this is his way of holding on to what we had while enjoying his new life.

Jodi - posted on 04/22/2014

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Oh, well, if it is an article on the internet, it must be true......

Leela - posted on 04/22/2014

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Actually Jodi the question came about after I read an article on line about this topic. I wondered if other women go through the same thing. My ex and I coparent so we see each other at a lot of functions. He always tries to flirt or send me messages asking if he can come over when our son is not home. Yes he is a moron and it was one thing when he was single - I just laughed it off and ignored him. But he's happily involved now!!! He should know better and I feel very awkward about the whole thing.

Jodi - posted on 04/21/2014

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That's a bit of a generalisation. I've never been with a man who wants to sleep with his ex.

There are women who want to sleep with their exes too. So it isn't just men. Lets dispense with the poor opinion of men and focus on the fact that this particular man is a moron.

I am confused with how he tries to have sex with you though. How is he getting that close?

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