Why do some mom's treat children as objects?

Brittney - posted on 02/27/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




So I've noticed that a number of single mom's will treat the child as not of an object then a person. Such as, they'll deny the dad visits then say that they have sole physical custody so they own the child. I worked with a girl who won't let her kids see their father because he has fallen behind on support. She won't let him see the kids, but because he's behind on support he won't take her to court as he's afraid he'll get in trouble for being behind. She has her kids call her boyfriend "dad" even. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has physical custody of their toddler. She has even said to him "I have final say in all visits." And "you won't date me then I don't have to let you see him". He however is doing someghi about it and thank god he's for plenty of evidence showing her denying visits and breaking court orders in other ways and she has a violent boyfriend she lives with. He doesn't hit the child. He hits Mon sometimes and is verbally abusive. I've also known other women who won't let the guy be around his kids because something he said or did that upset her. If my boyfriend and I ever have a child and for some reason split up, I couldn't imagine with holding visits because I was mad. Heck, I think as long as neither parent poses a threat then they should always have equal amounts of time with the child. I also wouldn't want child support from someone, if I had a child then I'd rather just provide for the child when they're with me and then have the father provide for the child when he has them. But I do understand the child support thing. I just see both sides to it. Why aren't more people open minded when it comes to visitation and child support?


Raye - posted on 02/27/2015




it does seem like so many parents (mothers and fathers) treat their children as pawns in a game, using them to try and hurt the other parent. It's sad. It is difficult to co-parent when you've split and have different goals and different ways of going about things. But when you have a child, you're supposed to be responsible and be a good role model for them and do what's best for them. Usually what is best for them is to have relationships with both parents. It's hard to put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the kids, but you should try.

It does become more difficult if one parent is modeling bad behaviors such as drug use, physical abuse, etc. But that's when you get the courts involved to adjust custody/visitation to something that is in the best interest of the kids. Everything should be done legally and with just cause, not just because they don't like that the father feeds them chips instead of granola bars.

Whether or not you WANT the child support or think you're too proud to accept it, there are many struggling parents who need it. Even if you don't "need" it, the father still needs to be responsible for the life he created and help support that child to give them the best life and opportunities possible. So again, not about the parent, but about the kid. Many parent's lose sight of that. If you don't need child support for the everyday bills, then sock it away for the child's education and send them to a better college.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms