Why does my 12 yr old daughter, of divorced parents, lives with her mom, never call or text me?

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Peter Dunne - posted on 08/02/2014

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I am glad as well. It sounds like you turned out ok.
Kids are very resilient, but I don't take advantage of that. Your dads words of wisdom are right on.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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That is good. I am glad that you do. I am not from a divorced home either and had not thought it would happen to me. I have friends and one sibling who are divorced but did not come from a family where divorce was prevalent. My mother did come from a divorced home but it was due to how her father was and step father was. None of her siblings but one was divorced. My dad's parents never divorced either. But I do remember his mother's words: Its the children that suffer the most in a divorce. Even though she never experienced it, she did have some sort of wisdom in her statement. She did, however; raise her twin sister's son who was ten years or so older than my dad. It was those words that I looked to when my turn at divorce came. So many of my choices were based off what affects it would have on the kids.

Peter Dunne - posted on 08/02/2014

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My daughter has not asked any questions, yet. I am sure that will come, someday. We have a great relationship, when we are together, and I should reach out to her, more, when we are not.
I learn each day. I am not from a divorced, home, but I always, think of her in advance.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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You are welcome, Pete. My kids are both almost grown and gone and have had to deal with a divorce. My oldest was the same age as your daughter. She had asked so many times why we did not get back together while her brother who was only 5 at the time did not understand why his parents were not together. When the divorce was final that they had to learn to deal with a new situation. It was up to me and their father to maintain whatever relationships we had with them.

Peter Dunne - posted on 08/02/2014

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Thank you, Evelyn.
That is very wise advice, I will take. That is my mistake. Thank you.
Pete

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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Because its up to you as the father to maintain that relationship. Your daughter never asked for you and her mother to divorce, she did not ask to have to either chose whom to live with or have the choice made for her, she never asked for things to turn out as they did. If you want to talk to her or text her and get responses in return, then you need to be the one to initiate the whole thing. Its not her place to do this.

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