why is it that kids don't listen????

Hanan - posted on 11/19/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




uurrrggggggg my 4 year honestly tones me out!!! he just doesn't listen at all lately its like talking to a brick wall...seriously how many time do u have to say please stop before you are pushed to the point of screaming at them. I am soo sick of screaming at them...I feel like i turned into a complete B****** doesn't matter what I do he just doesn't get it. I wish kids came with a manual that just tells you the right words to say to make them listen!!! and of course his 2 year old brother is following in his footsteps....IM loosing my mind. I bet when he's in school he tells all his friends what a phsyco mom he has lol I don't want to be this person GGGGRRRRRRRRRRR


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Hanan - posted on 11/20/2009




Thanks Ladies for you advice...I am practing on speaking with a calm voice and I was doing good but then the last couple weeks ive completely lost it lol but thanks for reminding me!!!! hopefully it will get better soon

Maria - posted on 11/20/2009




When your child gets on your nerves do the counting to him or her or go into your room and take deep breaths . That is what I do.

Renee - posted on 11/20/2009




Okay so take a big deep breath and let it out. Okay so now I started yelling at my daughter at that age a few times and then read some great advice when you feel like yelling, don't, instead drop your voice, I know sounds like the opposite of what you should be doing but TRUST ME it works. Drop your voice, lower quieter. Make them look at you and very slowly tell them what you want them to hear. Make sure to get their attention first. If the TV is distracting them if you have to turn it off to get their attention whatever the distraction is get rid of it. Use your calmest lowest quietest voice. My daughter is now 10 and I've been using this technique since she was 4 years old. She now gets very concerned when I get to that point because she knows that she has pushed me to the limit and that she will be grounded if she continues to push. It has never escalated beyond my voice dropping for years now. Good luck.

Shannon - posted on 11/19/2009




my 4 year old is the same way. What I have found is he is actually listening just not doing as I say. Now days I tell him 2 times to stop , to do...if it's not done I count to three, if he still is not doing as I say It's a time out in his room, no TV, early bed time...some sort of small punishment. Slowly but surely I am starting to see a change, I'm sticking with it and hopefully I will get the results I am lookimg for.

Heather - posted on 11/19/2009




At 4 years of age, he is totally capable of listening, and only needs one warning. Tough love is in order here so you don't end up with a brat! So, when you have told him something, clarify and say "did you hear mommy? Do you understand? Good!" If he then does what you told him not to, remind him ONCE! Say "Mommy told you... if you choose not to listen again, you will have to have a time out." If he does it again, take him straight to timeout. (I use the bottom step on the staircase.)

For time out I tell him exactly why he is going on it; "You are on a time out because you didn't listen to mommy when I told you to stop dumping dirt on the floor (etc)" Then if he is 4, his time out is 4 minutes. When it is over, he should say sorry. If he does it again, back on time out.

This works for my kid most of the time except for nap time on occasion because I will not let him come out of his bed when he is supposed to be in it. So for nap, I tell him "It would make mommy really happy if you stayed in your bed." Most of the time this works, but when he doesn't do a good job, I will flat out tell him that he is making mommy angry that he is being naughty and not listening. (I believe children need to see that their behaviour has an effect on others within reason) Since he is sensitive, he wants mommy to be happy so this works almost 100% of the time for me.

His brother will copy him, so make sure you are consistent, and discipline the 2 year old appropriately.

A good book to read is by Dr. Sears called "the Discipline book"

Hang in there, they will push the limits as much as they can. We have to show them who is boss, in a loving and consistent manner as best as we can. There will be times when you yell. You are human, and at times it's really hard not to!

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