Why is this 22 month old child doing nothing

Nichole - posted on 10/02/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i am watching a 22 month old i have been watching him since march of this year. when i started to watch him he was 15 months old and could not even stand on his own. the parents said that the "doctor" said it was not big deal. i am sorry i dont know what doctor says its "OKAY" for your child to not even stand by this age, but i let it go. after 3 months of intense work i finally got him walking, but that is the only progression he has made. he does absolutely nothing that a 22 month old should be doing, he just sits on the floor and stares. i have tried educational cartoons. playing patty cake, peek-a-boo. but he sits there with a blank look on his face. he never has any expressions at all.I have 3 children, 6, 5, 3. i am not comparing but looking at the ages that they did things and he isnt even doing what they did at 18 month old. he can barely walk now, again, doesnt run, does climb on things just sits there.I reallly think something is mentally wrong but the parents dont seem to believe me. all the online posts i rread said that he should be doing things with his hands and feet (coordination) but he does nothing. doesnt use a spoon, or play, or really even talk much what should i do. i am ready to drop his parents like a hot tamalie please help

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Jill - posted on 10/02/2012

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I agree that speaking with social worker and doctor are the right steps to take...especially given you've already tried to speak with the parents. If parents are in denial and not providing appropriate care that's a problem. Its also a problem if they have a diagnosis and are hiding it because then he can't receive the appropriate care from other care givers (like you) and in my opinion IS a form of neglect.

Dropping the family may temporarily alleviate your stress, but will not do anything to help the child. He isn't yours but obviously you feel a love and responsibility towards him... If I were in your position, I would first ask myself if I could walk away and live with it or not. If not, pursue every avenue you can to help the child.

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Darla - posted on 10/02/2012

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sounds like you are the only one that really cares! I'd be very very careful how you handle the situation. Even though you are upset, be very gentle with these "ignorant" people whether it is just denial or what. You could be this child's only hope.

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It sounds like there is a serious developmental delay and I agree with your intuition. Since he is under the age of three, the county should provide some sort of early intervention (if you are in the U.S.) He may be having absence seizures in addition to the one you witnessed.



You can continue to provide increased stimulation while you are together or have a heart to heart with the parents about what appears to be significant gross motor and cognitive delays. If they are in denial, they may drop you as a sitter rather than hear what you have to say. Sometimes it just takes enough people commenting on a problem for parents to put the pieces together. Or it could be that they already have a diagnosis and don't want to share it with others. Some feel that labeling their child with a diagnosis inhibits others from interacting with the child normally. I really don't have any good answers for you except that what you describe does not sound like typical development.

Nichole - posted on 10/02/2012

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thanks i really appreciate the help i didnt want to step on feet before but now he is almost 2 and doesnt do a thing, i even had parents come up to me at my sons school and tell me that he doesnt look right. if you see his face it looks as if there is some sort of "problem" i am very concerned. i love this child like my own children and take very good care of him

Nichole - posted on 10/02/2012

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i watch him 3 day/week every week but there never seems to be any progress if anything there is always regression when he returns so its like starting over again

Dove - posted on 10/02/2012

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I just read your seizure post. Yeah, I would demand to speak to HIS doctor (or receive documentation from his doctor) if I were going to keep him in my care. And if you don't keep him in your care... talk to your son's social worker about your concerns... hopefully someone is or will be keeping an eye on this boy's situation.

Dove - posted on 10/02/2012

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It could be possible. How often do you watch him though? If you watch him fairly regularly... even if he were neglected at home he would be showing SOME improvement (even if it's minimal) while in your care.

Nichole - posted on 10/02/2012

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oh and another this he had a seisure here probably 2 months ago now and they say that the doctor said it was a fluke. i am not comfortable with that

Nichole - posted on 10/02/2012

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i have a social worker for my 6 year old he has ADHD. all this boy does is cry and had no form of independance. i will try my kids's doctor i do feel as if they are lying to me or something but i dont know what to do. could this be a form of neglect?

Dove - posted on 10/02/2012

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They may know something is wrong with him, but be ashamed to admit it... or just in denial.... or just not want to share it with you (which isn't good since you take care of him). Can you call your kids doctor for advice? I would probably start there.

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