Why my daughter's dad didnt participate in her party celebration

Nikki - posted on 07/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am concerned if I am being a little too emotional. On 5/23 my daughter turned one and her father did not come to the zoo for her celebration even thogh she spent the night with him and he bought her gifts and gave me money for her outing. Today his son is turning two and he is at his son's birthday celebration for the second year in a row and my daughter was turning her first year and his excuse to me was he doesnt get along with me or my family and friends but they dont say anything to him to have missed his daughter's birthday celebration. My 12 year old son thinks its wrong that she wasnt invited to her brothers party. Iguess my son saying that made me sad. what do you think am I being too emotional.


Dove - posted on 07/14/2012




He spent the night with her and bought her presents AND gave you money. That's more than my kids have gotten in years on their birthday from their dad......

If the two of you don't get along, it makes perfect sense that he would not want to spend his daughter's birthday with you.

I do think it kind of stinks that she wasn't invited to her brother's birthday party, but.... she's one. It's not like SHE cares.

Amy - posted on 07/14/2012




I think you are being a little too emotional about it. It's not like he completely ignored her birthday, he bought her gifts and helped pay for the party if I'm reading that correctly. He gave you a legitimate reason for not wanting to be there, he doesn't get along with your friends and family and although they may not say anything directly to him they may make him feel uncomfortable, you should respect that. If you really wanted him there than you could of done separate parties.

Now as far as your daughter being invited to her brothers birthday your daughters dad may not have had any control over it. Maybe the other mother didn't want her there, it doesn't sound like he's one for causing trouble so maybe he didn't want to push the issue. It's hard to really know the reasoning a lot could factor in like the dynamics of the relationships I'm assuming neither you nor the other woman are with him? But it could be that the other mom just has animosity towards you and your daughter because she feels like you may have stole him away. Like I said I'm only guessing because I don't know the history of everyone involved but it sounds like he's involved in your daughters life and you should appreciate that!


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Maren - posted on 07/14/2012




I maybe that he is uncomfortable, and unwelcome around your family. He had his own private celebration with her, and for him that may have been enough.
You didn't mention this, but was his son invited to her party? If not then I would understand her not being invited to his.
If you would like her to be involved with his son try talking to him. He could have not wanted to take her b/c he knew it was your weekend and he didn't want to cause problems with your schedule. Let him know that in the future if there is a special family event that are not scheduled for his days to talk to you and you can work out a change for that week.
You are looking at this that he is doing all this to you, try thinking that he may have done these things for you.

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