Why would you tell a kid their mom is someone who isn't their real mom

Katie - posted on 09/08/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My daughter's dad has another kid who's mom lost custody so now he has her & I won't even go into how I feel about that but he has his 3 year old calling his girlfriend mommy and I just think that's wrong..she has a mom & it's not her.It makes me not want to let my own daughter be around them because she just turned 5 & is smart and she knows who her mom & dad is.It's not cute to lie about who's your parent..

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Jodi - posted on 09/10/2012

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As I said earlier (thought I'd point that out because obviously you haven't read anything anyone has said), how is it any of your business what his other child calls his girlfriend? Your only business is your daughter. You don't know that they are lying to the child. You are making some huge assumptions.



And just for the record, it isn't a reason to withhold your child from him. I think you are just looking for a way to get full custody. This isn't it. It isn't your right to decide whether you should let your daughter around him or not. That's what the court is for.

Firebird - posted on 09/10/2012

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That's an awfully big assumption to think that this child is being lied to just because she's allowed to call the girlfriend mommy. This is an issue that has absolutely no effect on you or your life. Maybe you should try minding your own business.

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2012

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It isn't necessarily that the child doesn't know who mummy is. It is actually quite normal for young children to be confused about what to call the significant adults in their life. I have a friend whose little girl used to call me mum when I looked after her, just because that's what she knew about the woman who is there to feed them, help them, etc. It is nothing personal. If they are not corrected, they will continue to do that. Your ex and his girlfriend have possibly just never corrected it, and obviously no-one in that arrangement is taking issue with it. They probably aren't lying about it.



When it all comes down to it, it is none of your business unless they are telling your daughter she has to call her mum. I think you are over-reacting.

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Dove - posted on 09/11/2012

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Interesting.... I sure wouldn't have made a post about some kid calling another woman Mommy if I had drug and manslaughter concerns about my ex.... I would've been asking about THAT.



Good luck then.

Dove - posted on 09/10/2012

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So I will bite, I guess.... what 'other' reasons are there that he shouldn't have any kids in his custody? Obviously the court decided he was more fit than the other little girl's mom was.... It actually does just sound like you don't want your daughter around her father. If you have reasons to believe he is unfit, by all means, take it to court. Otherwise.... just focus on your child and don't let it stress you out whether or not this other little girl calls this woman Mommy. Maybe she's earned the title.... especially if her bio mom lost custody. Her stepmom IS apparently 'Mommy' to her. Why does that bother you?

Dove - posted on 09/10/2012

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How do you KNOW he's lying to the kid just based on the fact that this kid calls her mommy though?

Katie - posted on 09/10/2012

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That's right it's not my daughter it's her HALF-SISTER.My daughter knows who her parents are & I wouldn't lie to her about it.It's just ignorant & I don't think her dad should have any kids in his custody & there are reasons other than lying to his kid about who her mom is.

Firebird - posted on 09/09/2012

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Lacye, it isn't Katie's daughter who is calling the girlfriend mom. It's Her daughter's half sister, who has no relation to Katie.

Lacye - posted on 09/09/2012

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So you are willing to keep your child away from her father because she calls the father's girlfriend mom? That's really mature. She is not just your daughter, she is his as well. He has every right to see her.



As for her calling the girlfriend mom, unless they are forcing her to call the woman that, there is nothing you can really do about it. Did you ever think that maybe your daughter chose to call her mom? Or that nobody is lying to her about who her parents are but that this is something she feels comfortable with doing?

Firebird - posted on 09/09/2012

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My friend's 3 year old calls me Mommy. She did that all on her own, we just didn't tell her she wasn't allowed. Her mom walked out on her a long time ago and doesn't spend a lot of time with her. I'm always around because her dad is my friend (literally - just friends). She knows she has a real mom, whom she doesn't know very well. But I guess she figures that because I take care of her more often, that I'm a mommy too. Actually she started calling me mom first, but I guess that's neither here nor there.



I'm with Jodi, this is really none of your business unless they try to make your daughter call her mom too.

Dove - posted on 09/08/2012

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How do you know she doesn't know the truth just because she calls this woman mommy?



My stepnephew started calling my brother 'daddy' the day they met.... even though he had another man (bio-father) who he also called daddy.

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