Martinez - posted on 11/03/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
We have a 22 month old baby son.
I havent treated her good at the beginning when she announced she got pregnant. i was upset. and wasnt good to her during her pregnance. like i was upset once when she called me at work and asked me to come pick her up because she had vaginal bleeding when she was still pregnant. I didnt want to get off work cause i felt i was putting my job at risk. i kept leaving her whenver we got into a fight (verbal argument) and lived in hotel a few nights, 1 time i ddnt want to be w/ her no more and rented a room.
anyways i know i wasnt a good husband and i changed my ways about 10 months ago. I recognized what i did and started to treat her well. but i do so many bad things also like making the decision to buy a house we coudlnt afford, have my mom co-sign with me, buying a new expensive car instead of listening to her on buying a cheaper house or renting or buying a used car. im the one who started hitting and spitting at her at the beginning because she wouldnt stop arguing. i even took her head once and smashed it against our car after i took off but she followed me.
That caused her alot of stressed. On top of that after our child was born, she caught me in my hotmail account cheating on her when we were in a relationship (but i havent cheated on her since she got pregnant, but she doesnt believe me).
She says i am racist because she is black andi used her for sex at the beginning because i got mad at her once and told her temper are like those of typical angry ghetto black women.
i dont know what to do as for the past year now, she has repeatly beaten me, slashed me with a knife, boiled oil then try to throw it on my face (luckily i was able to duck, and oil landed partially on my back). I was arrested 2x for domestic violence when we both fought and i was trying to run away from her.
she keeps losing her temper, and beating me every few days repeatly sometimes all day with objects (gps, books, phone, belt, boots, shoes, repeatly slaps me with electric plugs. she keeps coming to my face all day/ night. She forces me to stay home, missing work, tells me not to call him sick to work neither because she blames me for waking her up at night, which made her angry that she wanted to fight all night and finally didnt go to do her university course mid-term. i dont fight back anymore, i keep telling her i am sorry, she keeps saying that i am not sorry.
The worse part is we have a baby, often he sees these things and has to endure all this, and all thise shouting from her. She is a great mom to him otherwise. but i know our kid is suffering when we fight.
She came to my workplace a few times looking for me, telling security guards she wants to talk to me after i ran away from her.
i dont know if i am being a baby, coward, shoud i stick with her as punishment for way i treated her at the beginning or should i leave her, i was thinking of moving to another city as she keeps harassing me and wants me to lose my job because she says i made her lose years from her university.
i received a warning recently from my boss at work for not calling in sick, one days i was stuck in traffic twice from delivering breaad (my secon job). i dont have a phone or time. so i was late by almost an hour in picking her up from class. she accused me of cheating on her and i told her ill pick her up righ tnow when i called from her schoools security desk, i asked her where she was. i told her we have to go because i was late fork, she didnt want to hang up the phone, wanted to keep talking and being angry so i hung up on her and left for my other job.
I dont know what to do.
Should i lave her / move on, start new job in new city?
i am afraid of her, know she will try to find me and start a scene in public and yell that i have left her with all the duties for raisin our child.
i offered her to raise our child seperate. she got angry, she says that i screwed up her life , so we both have to go down together.
(she was a straight a student in high school, i met her when she was 16, and i was 26. we broke up 2 years later, then got back together 2 years later, and she got pregnant nog long after).