Wild Teenager

Lis - posted on 01/23/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 15 year old girld who is going down the drain, her dad and I have been doing everything possible to save her from herself but the task seems to be impossible. She has been diagnosed with border line personality disorder. She engages in all sort of "not healthy habits" like smoke, drugs, sex, bad companies and so on, she misses school a lot. We tried to send her to a residential but as she is 15 she can refuse to go. Anybody there to give me an advice, please?

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Lis - posted on 01/23/2014

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Thanks Jenna,
I always knew she was going to be difficult but I never expected "not even close" to what is happening now. As we have set a good example for her as a family, I thought that was going to be helpul for her. Apparently that is not the case. Yes, we will keep on helping her evethough I have to admit that my feelings for her have changed somehow as she has inflicted so much pain (and still does it on a daily basis) to my family. I hope someday she realizes the family she has had and change her path.

Jenna - posted on 01/23/2014

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Lis,

That would be incredibly difficult. My son is on the Autism Spectrum, ADHD and experiences anxiety as well. It is scary to think of his teen years as he is only 3. I actually just blogged about our experience at the doctors when I reality hit me of how different life will be.

My only advice is to keep trying no matter how hard it gets. Just let her know you love her unconditionally and remember to take care of yourself (and try not be hard on yourself)

As mothers we always put our children first as it should be but sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves too.

Sending love and white light to your daughter and to you. I'm here if you need a friend to talk too.

-Jenna

Lis - posted on 01/23/2014

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Thanks for your prompt response. Well, we have tried that too. We have a team supporting us, they come one time a week for us and she has a therapist coming twice a week for her. She has been hospitalized 7 times in two years. She is taking medicaition for depression, anxiaty, insomnia and ADHD. She goes to an OCLC school and there she has help from a therapist and a psychologist. We've had all kind of conversation with her and when it comes from us she would not listen to or pay so much attention. We are a conventional family (mom, dad, two sibblings). NO drug or alcohol abuse history, no domestic violence. Just normal parents with also a toddler who now is getting affected somehow with her behavior (her hitting us and acting out).

Jenna - posted on 01/23/2014

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Hi Lis,

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling with your daughter. As a parent we only want the very best for our children. I can only imagine the pain that you are feeling. It sound like you have tried a few different things to save her from her decisions.

Your post stuck out to me because I was much like your daughter at her age. Exactly at 15 I started to engage in many unhealthy behaviors such as drinking, sex, drugs, and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

At 16 I had my first child and had a very hard road.

One approach that you might not have tried is showing her in a way that she will relate to the path she is on by the decisions she is making.

You can look at and subscribe to my blog which is all about the consequences of the poor decisions I made in my teens that have led to me to where I am at. It might be a great tool to show your daughter and opening up an opportunity to talk about some of these things.

www.teenmomtheaftermath.com

I hope that all works out for you and your daughter.

-Jenna

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